IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The diagrams above illustrate changes made to a Cinema from 1980 until now.

The diagrams above illustrate changes made to a Cinema from 1980 until now.
The diagrams above illustrate changes made to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
Cinema
Use synonyms
 from 1980 until now.
Overall
Linking Words
, there has been the addition of new
cinema
Use synonyms
 rooms
as well as
Linking Words
 a food and drinks shop, a relaxing
room
Use synonyms
 and a DVD shop. The parking has been completely demolished. Looking at the diagrams in more detail, as you walk through the entrance, on the
left hand
Add a hyphen
left-hand
show examples
 side
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Cinema
Use synonyms
room
Use synonyms
 number 1 has been moved closer to the toilets.
Also
Linking Words
,
room
Use synonyms
 number 2 has decreased marginally in size since 1980 and has now been moved directly opposite
room
Use synonyms
 1. The parking has been obliterated to make
room
Use synonyms
 for the addition of three new
cinema
Use synonyms
 rooms. Towards the left of the entrance there is now a food and drinks and relax
room
Use synonyms
 that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 in place of where
cinema
Use synonyms
room
Use synonyms
 1 used to be. Towards the right, the ticket booth is still in the same place,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 the drinks section has been moved and replaced with a DVD shop.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words cinema, room with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "moved" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: