IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Write about the following topic: Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#topic #plastic #bags #bottles #environment #damage #governments #individuals
The enormous of packaging
plastic
 has
increases
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
 over the
last
 decades which
lead
Wrong verb form
has led
show examples
 to the
negative
Add an article
the negative
show examples
 effect
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
atmosphere
Correct article usage
the atmosphere
show examples
.
The
Correct article usage
Plastic
show examples
plastic
 has brought many problems for the living and livestock
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
earth,
while
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 the governments and personal person have a big
responsibilities
Correct the article-noun agreement
responsibility
show examples
 to solve
this
 issue. In
this
 essay, I will discuss
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 topic. In the beginning, plastics are coming from many things
such
 as furniture and daily goods
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 by humans.
The researchers
Correct article usage
Researchers
show examples
 have found that
plastic
 can lead the earth to the butterfly effect which is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 all creatures.
For instance
, the land will
inadequate
Add a missing verb
be inadequate
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 nutrients and the soil cannot produce
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
 plantations because of unfertility
land
Change preposition
of land
show examples
.
As a result
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mankind does not have sufficient food for all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
. The second sample effect is unbalancing nature which is the chemical from
plastic
 waste impacted
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the health of
people
 and
animas
Correct your spelling
animals
.
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
 issues can lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
harmful
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better quality of life in the future. The increasing number of
plastic
 is caused by the demand of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 to
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 it since it has portable and efficient.
The governments
Correct article usage
Governments
show examples
 and individual citizens must tackle and reduce the utilization of
plastic
.
Simplify
Fix the infinitive
To simplify
show examples
, the prominent rule should be
handle
Wrong verb form
handled
show examples
 by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 for increasing the amount of
plastic
 tax and
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
laws to preserve the land
with banned
Change preposition
by banning
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plastic
.
This
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
 will still remain until the root of the problem
being forbidden
Wrong verb form
is resolved
show examples
. coming from personality, each person must
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
this
 problem and realize the impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 them in the future. The thing that can encourage
people
 to not
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
plastic
 is
change
Change the verb form
to change
changing
show examples
 the
plastic
 with
another materials
Replace the adjective
another material
other materials
show examples
 that
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 degradable in the soil. In conclusion,
plastic
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 many negative issues
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the earth
Verb problem
,
show examples
whis
Correct your spelling
which
 is not only
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 human but
also
 impacted
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all creatures. The strict rules, the awareness, and the new innovation of
people
 can alleviate
this
 problem in our atmosphere
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak, with ideas presented sporadically and without clear progression. Create distinct paragraphs for the introduction, main points, and conclusion. Each paragraph should introduce its main idea at the beginning and proceed logically. Avoid combining multiple ideas within a single sentence or paragraph without clear connections or transitions. Use linking words to create better flow and cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and a conclusion are present but lack clarity. Both the introduction and conclusion should be well-defined, with the introduction setting the stage for the discussion and the conclusion effectively summarizing the main points and providing a final thought. Additionally, a restatement of the topic and the writer's position should be included in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Main points are present, yet they are not well-supported or elaborated upon. Ensure each main point is accompanied by adequate explanation, evidence, or examples. Develop each idea thoroughly before moving on to the next point. This will help to create a more persuasive and comprehensive argument.
task achievement
The response addresses the task to some extent but fails to fully develop a complete response to all parts of the question. Work on providing a comprehensive answer that covers all aspects of the prompt, including the damage caused by plastic to the environment and suggestions for solutions by governments and individuals. Avoid generalizing and try to be specific wherever possible.
task achievement
Ideas presented in the essay are somewhat relevant but lack depth and clarity. Strive to express ideas more clearly and ensure that they directly address the task. Use straightforward language and make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea. To enhance clarity, avoid overly long sentences and check for grammatical accuracy.
task achievement
There is a mention of examples, but they are not sufficiently relevant or specific. Include more concrete examples or data to support your arguments, making them more convincing. Specific examples from personal experience, current events, or credible sources can significantly strengthen the argument. Ensure examples are directly related to the points you are trying to make.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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