IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You have recently bought an airline ticket from a travel agency and unfortunately you are not able to fly on these dates. Write a letter to the travel agency manager to cancel the ticket. Explain in your letter: What are the flight details Why do you want to cancel it What would you like him/her to do about it

#airline #ticket #travel #agency #dates #manager #flight
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to ask you to make some alterations to my flight reservation. Allow me to elaborate on the situation. I have a friend living far, far away in Japan. I met him seven years ago when I studied Japanese literature at the University of Tokyo. I wanted to visit him on the 7th of September and spend some time with his wonderful family. As I knew yesterday, my sister's boyfriend proposed to her recently, and they are getting married on the same day as my flight to Tokyo. I spoke with them about possible schedule changes, but unfortunately, it was the only available date in a church when our parents became
wife
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husband
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. I really hope you can emphasize my situation and provide me with some help. I would like to ask you to change my departure date a bit. The 8th and 9th of September would be great. There is no need to change the second ticket because I did not buy it. I have some work in Osaka to do. Thank you in advance. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Vasilii Rasskazov
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Task Achievement
To enhance task response, ensure that you explicitly address all parts of the prompt. While your letter provides a compelling reason for the change and specifies the desired action, it could be improved by directly mentioning the initial flight details which were lacking.
Coherence and Cohesion
For a better coherence score, make sure that your paragraphs flow logically from one to the next. You've done a good job structuring your letter and separating your ideas, yet incorporating transitional phrases could enhance the overall flow.
Task Achievement
The tone of your letter is suitable for the context, showing respect and politeness to the reader. To improve, consider adding more varied sentence structures and richer vocabulary to make your writing more engaging.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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