With the increased global demand in oil amd gas, undiscovered areas of world should be opened up to access more resources.

Nowadays growing demand of the population and the higher use of
energy
for daily consumption has increased dramatically
That is
why the fulfill the power requirement people have started discovering new places to satisfy the demand for
energy
. But I completely disagree with
this
argument. First of all, gaining new resources is a good thing but it has some hazardous effects. Environmental risks are the main factors that need to
take
Wrong verb form
be taken
show examples
care of, with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access to
energy
in newly discovered
areas
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
a risk
to spills
Change preposition
of spilling
show examples
oil
on nature
this
way we put their local habitat in danger. Sometimes by fault, we kill wild animals and unknown species of plants.
For example
, Studies show that about on earth 26% of the land has been habitual because of the
oil
spill and fire-prone
areas
because of getting more valuable resources in
a new
Correct the article-noun agreement
new areas
a new area
show examples
areas
.
On the other hand
, building new and alternative sources of
oil
and gas needs a significant amount of money that build the power station and the reservoirs to collect the power to use it later. Because of
this
construction the damage to nature and
another habitat
Fix the agreement mistake
other habitats
show examples
.
In addition
, because of the construction and
energy
losses increased greenhouse gases.
For instance
, the newspaper Times shows that because of creating new sources of
energy
some islands are heavily polluted because of leakage of gases and
oil
.
Whereas
, with the leaking of
oil
and gases increased pollution on earth that’s why undiscovered
areas
are never opened for gaining new resources. In conclusion,
however
need for
energy
has increased but, the need for
energy
environmental protection and social concerns has increased.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global demand
  • industrialization
  • economic growth
  • energy security
  • environmental impact
  • habitat destruction
  • climate change
  • indigenous rights
  • renewable resources
  • sustainable development
  • energy conservation
  • technological innovation
  • fossil fuels
  • carbon footprint
  • ecosystems
  • biodiversity
  • exploitation
  • environmental degradation
  • drilling operations
  • resource depletion
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