Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes(for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays

Correct your spelling

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should

Unnecessary verb

apply

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unpaid community service

Correct subject-verb agreement

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a required part of secondary school. Now people are beginning to realize that

for instance

, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children are necessary for

adolescents

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adolescent

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school life. Personally ,I tend to think that it is right and in my point of view it should be stayed unpaid.

Firstly

, it is well known that voluntary activities are beneficial for learners and

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apply

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should be

mandatory

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a mandatory

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part of their education . What I mean here

are

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that students can improve their communication skills.

Caused by

Verb problem

Because

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, they

are participated

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participate

have participated

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in community

job

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jobs

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, and they able to learn

enormous

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an enormous

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amount of knowledge about real-life

condition

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conditions

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Additionally

,they

expend

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expand

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their

world view

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worldview

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and

Verb problem

become

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more grateful for the opportunity which was given

for

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them.

Likewise

, community

works

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work

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are

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advantageous for undergraduates academic life .

On the other hand

, it can

also

be argued that support services should be unpaid and I believe that it is normal .

For the

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The

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reason that all work should go from

heart

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the heart

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and to not anticipate that someone will pay for it

and

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apply

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Verb problem

has

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taught us to help

to disable

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disabled

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individuals , substantiate nature,

Verb problem

apply

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do good deeds and

don’t

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not

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expect anything in return. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in our final analysis we can say that selfless trial is

paramount

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a paramount

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part of academic and

individuals

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individual

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life for students and people, and they can give you more valuable lessons than money.

Submitted by dnm.best on Wed Dec 20 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

The essay lacks clear and logical progression of ideas. Paragraphs are not well-developed, and there is an absence of clear topic sentences to guide the reader through the argument. The use of cohesive devices needs improvement for better clarity and flow.

Task Achievement

The essay does not fully address all parts of the task. While it attempts to provide an opinion, it fails to adequately develop and support that opinion with clear, fully extended and well-supported ideas. It is advisable to offer more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

257 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

compulsory
high school programmes
unpaid community service
charity
improving the neighbourhood
teaching sports
sense of responsibility
empathy
broader perspective
societal issues
college applications
job applications
positive impact

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes(for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

You recently used a taxi and left some important documents there. Write a letter to the taxi manager and say: – Describe what you left and where it happened. – Why are these papers important? – What would you like the manager to do about it?

In recent years, there has been a rise in the popularity of second-hand clothing amongst the younger generation. Why is this happening? Do you think it’s a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behavior? Discuss the reasons and possible results.