Some developed countries now have unemployment problems. Why do people still want to emigrate to these countries? Give reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.
Nowadays,
due to
the recession period, many of the well-developed communities are facing an economic downturn causing many companies and businesses to shut down which leads to the issue of unemployment.Despite Linking Words
this
, many immigrants want to settle down there. In Linking Words
this
essay, I will explain the reasons why the population want to immigrate there.
First and foremost, undeveloped and developing states don’t have effective Linking Words
healthcare
infrastructure Use synonyms
as well
Linking Words
as
Many poor Correct word choice
and
countries
' governments do not provide free Use synonyms
healthcare
or insurance systems to Use synonyms
individuals
Use synonyms
people
have to spend a lot of money for their treatment and the Use synonyms
population
these Fix the agreement mistake
populations
countries
are moving well-developed nations in search of better Use synonyms
healthcare
.Use synonyms
For instance
in India there is an undeveloped and costly Linking Words
healthcare
system and Use synonyms
people
from India are moving to Canada as they have much better Use synonyms
healthcare
infrastructure Use synonyms
as well as
the government of Canada is covering their costs of Linking Words
healthcare
.Use synonyms
In addition
to Linking Words
this
, most of the younger generation are interested in exploring different origins Linking Words
as well as
they are influenced by Western cultures and they moved to these Linking Words
countries
to explore and learn more about Use synonyms
countries
.
Use synonyms
However
, some of the Linking Words
individuals
move to developed Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
due to
their rules and regulations . Linking Words
For example
, Linking Words
people
are moving to the United States as they have strict rules and Use synonyms
people
are following them if any of the Use synonyms
individuals
are following the rules they are getting punished for that.Use synonyms
Instead
of Linking Words
this
, well-developed nations have less pollution than other nations and Linking Words
individuals
are emitting them because of good and hygienic lifestyles.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
Instead
of having unemployment issues in some states, Linking Words
community
are in favour of moving in search of a good lifestyle because of Fix the agreement mistake
communities
healthcare
facilities, regulations and many moreUse synonyms
Submitted by sirat
on
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task achievement
Your essay provides an answer to the question and includes relevant examples, such as the healthcare system in India and Canada and pollution issues in developed countries. However, the clarity and expansion of these ideas could be improved to enhance the comprehensive understanding of the reader. Also, your essay would score higher if you had developed the main points with stronger supporting arguments and clearer explanations to provide insight into why these reasons are compelling people to emigrate, which is crucial for task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear logical transitions and cohesive devices to link ideas effectively. Using a variety of linking words and phrases can improve the flow of the essay. Moreover, each paragraph should have a clear central idea, and subsequent sentences should elaborate on that idea in a logical manner. To refine your coherence and cohesion score, focus on structuring your paragraphs around central themes and ensure each sentence contributes to the development of those themes. A conclusive statement that ties the main points together and reaffirms the thesis would strengthen your essay's overall cohesion.