Some developed countries now have unemployment problems. Why do people still want to emigrate to these countries? Give reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.
Nowadays,
due to
the recession period, many of the well-developed communities are facing an economic downturn causing many companies and businesses to shut down which leads to the issue of unemployment.Despite this
, many immigrants want to settle down there. In this
essay, I will explain the reasons why the population want to immigrate there.
First and foremost, undeveloped and developing states don’t have effective healthcare
infrastructure as well
as
Many poor Correct word choice
and
countries
' governments do not provide free healthcare
or insurance systems to individuals
people
have to spend a lot of money for their treatment and the population
these Fix the agreement mistake
populations
countries
are moving well-developed nations in search of better healthcare
.For instance
in India there is an undeveloped and costly healthcare
system and people
from India are moving to Canada as they have much better healthcare
infrastructure as well as
the government of Canada is covering their costs of healthcare
.In addition
to this
, most of the younger generation are interested in exploring different origins as well as
they are influenced by Western cultures and they moved to these countries
to explore and learn more about countries
.
However
, some of the individuals
move to developed countries
due to
their rules and regulations . For example
, people
are moving to the United States as they have strict rules and people
are following them if any of the individuals
are following the rules they are getting punished for that.Instead
of this
, well-developed nations have less pollution than other nations and individuals
are emitting them because of good and hygienic lifestyles.
In conclusion, Instead
of having unemployment issues in some states, community
are in favour of moving in search of a good lifestyle because of Fix the agreement mistake
communities
healthcare
facilities, regulations and many moreSubmitted by sirat
on
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task achievement
Your essay provides an answer to the question and includes relevant examples, such as the healthcare system in India and Canada and pollution issues in developed countries. However, the clarity and expansion of these ideas could be improved to enhance the comprehensive understanding of the reader. Also, your essay would score higher if you had developed the main points with stronger supporting arguments and clearer explanations to provide insight into why these reasons are compelling people to emigrate, which is crucial for task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear logical transitions and cohesive devices to link ideas effectively. Using a variety of linking words and phrases can improve the flow of the essay. Moreover, each paragraph should have a clear central idea, and subsequent sentences should elaborate on that idea in a logical manner. To refine your coherence and cohesion score, focus on structuring your paragraphs around central themes and ensure each sentence contributes to the development of those themes. A conclusive statement that ties the main points together and reaffirms the thesis would strengthen your essay's overall cohesion.