An increasing number of developing countries are expanding tourist industries. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #tourist #industries

These days,

tourism

Add an article

the tourism

show examples

sector has revolutionised rapidly as compared to the past period

due to

globalisation.

As a result

, some developing

nations

try to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

expaned

Correct your spelling

expand

the

tourism

sectors.

Ths

Correct your spelling

This

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trend has benefits

as well as

drawbacks, even though, I think

this

trend has more advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

This

essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. There are some merits of improving

tourism

fields in the

second-tire

Correct your spelling

second-tier

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countries. One of the major benefits is that many

traveler

Change to a plural noun

travelers

show examples

may

be visited

Wrong verb form

visit

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these

nations

while

local vendors and folks can obtain more earnings from tourists, and

as a result

, their livelihood can be improved.

For example

traveler

Fix the agreement mistake

travelers

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have to spend more money to buy things and travel in order to they can explore places when they stay in the developing

nations

. Another advantage is that the

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

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get more taxes from

tourism

therefore

this

amount can

spend

Wrong verb form

be spent

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to develop the infrastructure of the

nations

thus

, the population will get all the amenities like hi-tech

road

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roads

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. There are several demerits of

this

phenomenon. One of the major disadvantages is that natural resources might be diminished by

over

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apply

show examples

consumptions

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consumption

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because

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

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nations

have only limited resources

while

Correct word choice

which

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can be decreased by innumerable

traveler

Fix the agreement mistake

travelers

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

using

Correct pronoun usage

them

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For instance

, India has limited water

resource

Fix the agreement mistake

resources

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but many tourists visit and use

this

resource enormously,

consequently

, the future generation will

be suffered

Wrong verb form

suffer

show examples

the

Change preposition

from the

show examples

scarcity of water. Another demerit is that traffic congestion

Verb problem

has

show examples

increased drastically for

tourist

Fix the agreement mistake

tourists

show examples

visit

Wrong verb form

visiting

show examples

these

nations

and already face

this

issue in these

nations

To conclude

although

improving the local people's livelihood and developing infrastructure are the advantages, increasing traffic

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

and reducing the natural resources are the disadvantages of

this

phenomenon.

However

, I think

this

tendency has more benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Thu Dec 21 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph contains one clear main idea with appropriate supporting details. Avoid discussing multiple ideas within a single paragraph without sufficient elaboration on each.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately. Some sentences seemed disjointed due to improper use of linking words or the lack of them. This interrupts the flow of your essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

For better structure, maintain a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Make sure that the introduction effectively sets the context and clearly states your stance. Each body paragraph should start with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea.

Task Achievement

Address all parts of the task prompt thoroughly. It seems that some aspects of the question may not have been fully addressed, such as the detailed comparison of the advantages and disadvantages.

Task Achievement

Develop ideas comprehensively by providing specific examples and details for each point you make. Your examples should be well-linked to the supporting points and relevant to the essay topic.

Task Achievement

Use a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition of the same words and phrases. Aim for precision and variety to better demonstrate language use.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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An increasing number of developing countries are expanding tourist industries. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that it is more important to plant trees in open areas of town and cities than to build more housing . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Overall, men are more satisfied with local conditions than women.