An increasing number of developing countries are expanding tourist industries. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #tourist #industries

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These days,

Use synonyms

tourism

Add an article

the tourism

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sector has revolutionised rapidly as compared to the past period

due to

Linking Words

globalisation.

As a result

Linking Words

, some developing

nations

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try to

Unnecessary verb

apply

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expaned

Correct your spelling

expand

the

tourism

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sectors.

Ths

Correct your spelling

This

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trend has benefits

as well as

Linking Words

drawbacks, even though, I think

this

Linking Words

trend has more advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

This

Linking Words

essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. There are some merits of improving

tourism

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fields in the

second-tire

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second-tier

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countries. One of the major benefits is that many

traveler

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travelers

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may

be visited

Wrong verb form

visit

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Change preposition

apply

show examples

these

nations

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while

Linking Words

local vendors and folks can obtain more earnings from tourists, and

as a result

Linking Words

, their livelihood can be improved.

For example

Linking Words

traveler

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travelers

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have to spend more money to buy things and travel in order to they can explore places when they stay in the developing

nations

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. Another advantage is that the

authority

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authorities

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get more taxes from

tourism

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therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

amount can

spend

Wrong verb form

be spent

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to develop the infrastructure of the

nations

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thus

Linking Words

, the population will get all the amenities like hi-tech

road

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roads

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. There are several demerits of

this

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phenomenon. One of the major disadvantages is that natural resources might be diminished by

over

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apply

show examples

consumptions

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consumption

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because

these kind

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this kind

these kinds

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nations

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have only limited resources

Linking Words

while

Correct word choice

which

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Correct pronoun usage

apply

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can be decreased by innumerable

traveler

Fix the agreement mistake

travelers

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

using

Correct pronoun usage

them

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For instance

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, India has limited water

resource

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resources

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but many tourists visit and use

this

Linking Words

resource enormously,

consequently

Linking Words

, the future generation will

be suffered

Wrong verb form

suffer

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the

Change preposition

from the

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scarcity of water. Another demerit is that traffic congestion

Verb problem

has

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increased drastically for

tourist

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tourists

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visit

Wrong verb form

visiting

show examples

these

nations

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and already face

this

Linking Words

issue in these

nations

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To conclude

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although

Linking Words

improving the local people's livelihood and developing infrastructure are the advantages, increasing traffic

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

and reducing the natural resources are the disadvantages of

this

Linking Words

phenomenon.

However

Linking Words

, I think

this

Linking Words

tendency has more benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Thu Dec 21 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph contains one clear main idea with appropriate supporting details. Avoid discussing multiple ideas within a single paragraph without sufficient elaboration on each.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately. Some sentences seemed disjointed due to improper use of linking words or the lack of them. This interrupts the flow of your essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

For better structure, maintain a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Make sure that the introduction effectively sets the context and clearly states your stance. Each body paragraph should start with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea.

Task Achievement

Address all parts of the task prompt thoroughly. It seems that some aspects of the question may not have been fully addressed, such as the detailed comparison of the advantages and disadvantages.

Task Achievement

Develop ideas comprehensively by providing specific examples and details for each point you make. Your examples should be well-linked to the supporting points and relevant to the essay topic.

Task Achievement

Use a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition of the same words and phrases. Aim for precision and variety to better demonstrate language use.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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An increasing number of developing countries are expanding tourist industries. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Film stars and celebrities often share their views on public matters that have little to do with their profession. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Employees sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

What are the advantages and disadvantages for children of watching televizion?

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?