An increasing number of developing countries are expanding tourist industries. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

These days,
tourism
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the tourism
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sector has revolutionised rapidly as compared to the past period
due to
globalisation.
As a result
, some developing
nations
try to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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expaned
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expand
the
tourism
sectors.
Ths
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This
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trend has benefits
as well as
drawbacks, even though, I think
this
trend has more advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
This
essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. There are some merits of improving
tourism
fields in the
second-tire
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second-tier
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countries. One of the major benefits is that many
traveler
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travelers
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may
be visited
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visit
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in
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apply
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these
nations
while
local vendors and folks can obtain more earnings from tourists, and
as a result
, their livelihood can be improved.
For example
,
traveler
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travelers
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have to spend more money to buy things and travel in order to they can explore places when they stay in the developing
nations
. Another advantage is that the
authority
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authorities
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get more taxes from
tourism
,
therefore
,
this
amount can
spend
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be spent
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to develop the infrastructure of the
nations
,
thus
, the population will get all the amenities like hi-tech
road
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roads
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. There are several demerits of
this
phenomenon. One of the major disadvantages is that natural resources might be diminished by
over
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apply
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consumptions
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consumption
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because
these kind
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this kind
these kinds
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of
nations
have only limited resources
while
Correct word choice
which
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can be decreased by innumerable
traveler
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travelers
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by
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apply
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using
it
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them
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.
For instance
, India has limited water
resource
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resources
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but many tourists visit and use
this
resource enormously,
consequently
, the future generation will
be suffered
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suffer
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the
Change preposition
from the
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scarcity of water. Another demerit is that traffic congestion
is
Verb problem
has
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increased drastically for
tourist
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tourists
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visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
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these
nations
and already face
this
issue in these
nations
.
To conclude
,
although
improving the local people's livelihood and developing infrastructure are the advantages, increasing traffic
problem
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problems
show examples
and reducing the natural resources are the disadvantages of
this
phenomenon.
However
, I think
this
tendency has more benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains one clear main idea with appropriate supporting details. Avoid discussing multiple ideas within a single paragraph without sufficient elaboration on each.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately. Some sentences seemed disjointed due to improper use of linking words or the lack of them. This interrupts the flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better structure, maintain a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Make sure that the introduction effectively sets the context and clearly states your stance. Each body paragraph should start with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task prompt thoroughly. It seems that some aspects of the question may not have been fully addressed, such as the detailed comparison of the advantages and disadvantages.
Task Achievement
Develop ideas comprehensively by providing specific examples and details for each point you make. Your examples should be well-linked to the supporting points and relevant to the essay topic.
Task Achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition of the same words and phrases. Aim for precision and variety to better demonstrate language use.
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