Youth unemployment is increasing in many countries in the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to solve it?
Nowadays, massive unemployment become a ubiquitous problem all over the world, specifically in developing countries.
Subsequently
, it possibly leads to worse problems, such
as crime, and low - quality of life. Lack of job opportunities and unskilled graduates were considered as the root causes of the trend. Therefore
, I personally believe that inviting multinational enterprises, reviewing existing education curricula, and providing free professional courses would solve the aforementioned issues.
Firstly
, multinational companies frequently would open plenty of occupation opportunities. Therefore
, by fostering a convenient environment for international investors, the government could draw their attention to establishing their businesses in the country, including appropriate supporting amenities, robust regulation, or low taxes. For instance
, when Microsoft built its headquarters office in India, it created a large number of novel professions, such
as programming, development, and blue-collar level. On top of that, Microsoft stimulates the development of local - vendor companies, which leads to broader chances for local workers.
On the other side, fresh graduates' backgrounds usually do not align with market demand. The obsolete syllabus,
and superficial knowledge were a barrier for students applying for a job so far. To exemplify, a mechanical engineering student still utilized old simulation software, which is not used by the current industry anymore. For these reasons, the education ministry should review the recent learning content. Remove the comma
apply
Moreover
, professional certification scholarships would be beneficial to increase their value in front of recruiters.
To sum up
, the main causes of the significant unemployment problems were the lack of job opportunities and graduates' low capability. Considering the former issues, proper investment circumstances that draw foreign businesses to come and a skill improvement approach would possibly mitigate the status quo.Submitted by epindonta02 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and provides relevant main points, but there is room for more depth and specificity in your arguments. Consider adding more detailed explanations and elaborating on your ideas to strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
There are a few minor errors and awkward phrasings that can affect clarity. You can work on refining your language and coherence to ensure smooth transitions and a more polished essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and well-presented, providing a good framework for your essay.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, such as the Microsoft example, enhances your points and makes your arguments more convincing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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