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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

This graph shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant.

This graph shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #four #materials #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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Line
Add an article
The line
show examples
 graph illustrates the difference
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
material
Fix the agreement mistake
materials
show examples
 from 1982 to 2010 that were recycled in a country.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 recycling
rate
Use synonyms
 of selected materials was reached by "paper&cardboard". The second place
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 got "
glass
Use synonyms
containers
Use synonyms
". The other 2 places that were selected were "
Aluminium
Use synonyms
cans
Use synonyms
" and "
Plastics
Use synonyms
".
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 1982,
recycle
Wrong verb form
the recycling
show examples
 of paper
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reached close to 65%
when
Correct word choice
while
show examples
containers
Use synonyms
 made of
glass
Use synonyms
got
Verb problem
reached
show examples
 about 50 %. In 1990, paper and cardboard sharply
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
risen
rose
 close to 70%
when
Correct word choice
while
show examples
containers
Use synonyms
 made of
glass
Use synonyms
 dramatically decreased to about 40%.
However
Linking Words
, before 1990 from 1986,
aluminium
Use synonyms
cans
Use synonyms
 started
from
Change preposition
at
show examples
 about 7% and
Use synonyms
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
 of recycling
have got
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
closely
Change the word
close
show examples
10
Change preposition
to 10
show examples
%.
Also
Linking Words
 at that period of time, the
recycle
Change the form of the verb
recycling
show examples
 of
plastics
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 started by individuals from about 4 %. In 1994, all of
selected
Add an article
the selected
show examples
 materials modestly started to
climbing
Change the verb
climb
show examples
 to different rates. Cardboard reached 80% when
glass
Use synonyms
containers
Use synonyms
 had been
raising
Wrong verb form
raised
show examples
 to the
rate
Use synonyms
 of 50 % that have reached by
Use synonyms
glass
Add an article
the glass
show examples
 before,
Linking Words
likewise
Add a comma
likewise,
show examples
cans
Use synonyms
 made of
aluminium
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
increased to about 15 %.
Also
Linking Words
,
plastics
Use synonyms
 rocket moderately to about 8%. Starting from 1994, paper&cardboard
begun
Wrong verb form
began
show examples
decling
Correct your spelling
declining
decline
 slowly, and
at the end
Linking Words
 of 2010, the
rate
Use synonyms
 of paper reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
70%
when
Correct word choice
while
show examples
glass
Use synonyms
containers
Use synonyms
 increased close to 60%.
Aluminium
Use synonyms
cans
Use synonyms
 steeply
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 up to about 45% and
plastics
Use synonyms
 got 9 %.
Submitted by aistmenr6 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, glass, containers, aluminium, cans, plastics with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 7 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • recycled
  • materials
  • increased
  • paper and cardboard
  • plastic
  • glass
  • metal
  • significant increase
  • relatively stable
  • fluctuating
  • period
  • starting
  • reaching
  • gradually increasing
  • remained low
  • experienced
  • showed
  • greatest
  • proportion
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