High job demands, stress and sense of commitment are among the main reasons people go to work when they are ill. This way they accomplish important tasks, but may infect others or get some serious health problems themselves. In your opinion should people go to work if they are sick? Support your point of view with relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
People nowadays encourage to work more by their companies,
however
Add a comma
however,
this
condition leads to an employee
tend to be not condiser
about their body health and keep working Correct your spelling
consider
while
they are unwell. In this
essay, i
will explain why Change the capitalization
I
this
issue happened and support it with several examples.
Firstly
, companies expected
their workers to make Wrong verb form
expect
profit
and sometimes Add an article
a profit
not
think about their Add a missing verb
do not
well being
. A toxic and unsupportive corporate culture is one of the root Add a hyphen
well-being
cause
of Fix the agreement mistake
causes
this
case. This situations
occurred because their top management, which is mostly occupied by Change the determiner
This situation
These situations
boomer
generation, Correct article usage
the boomer
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
this
is called a "dedication". Therefore
, it is not an excuse if they are sick for not going to office
as long as they still can walk. It is common Correct article usage
the office
also
that they are on the
sick leave but still working from home. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, a small company who
has a lack of Correct pronoun usage
that
employee
, sometimes push their sick worker to still do their task because Fix the agreement mistake
employees
of
there are limited people who can Change preposition
apply
held
the job Change the verb form
hold
temporary
.
Change the word
temporarily
Secondly
, this
problem also
came from the mindset of the employee
. Because most of the worker thing
they Correct your spelling
think
are worry
if their performance will assessed mostly from their presence Change the verb form
are worried
on
the office. Change preposition
in
Thus
, they are insist
and prefer to go working. Replace the word
insistent
As a result
, some employee
are getting worse health Fix the agreement mistake
employees
condition
and should Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
take
care to the hospital Verb problem
be
for
stop them to work. To illustrate, Change preposition
to
a
management sometimes Remove the article
apply
set
their Wrong verb form
sets
employees
KPI in the initial year, and one of the Change noun form
employee's
employees'
measurement
is their attendance and how much they take a Fix the agreement mistake
measurements
day
leave.
In conclusion, the reason Change noun form
day's
of
Change preposition
for
this
issue not only came from a bad corporate culture, but the worker also
affraid
it Correct your spelling
afraid
will
impact Wrong verb form
would
to
their KPI measurement. I, Change preposition
apply
therefore
, remain convinced that these two premise
are the root causes of Change to a plural noun
premises
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
Add a missing verb
being force
force
to work Replace the word
forced
while
in
illness.Change preposition
apply
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear logical structure which makes it challenging for readers to follow your line of reasoning. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that your arguments progress logically from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more explicit in laying out your argument. In the introduction, directly address the question posed and state your opinion. In the conclusion, restate your opinion and summarize the main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Some of your main points are supported, but the development of these points is hindered by lack of depth in your explanations and examples. Make sure to elaborate on your arguments to fully support your stance. Use examples that are relevant and clearly linked to your argument.
task achievement
While you provide a response to the prompt, it needs to be more comprehensive and clear. Make sure you understand all parts of the task and that your response reflects a well-considered stance on the issue. Work on developing your ideas more thoroughly and ensure that your essay fully addresses the question.
task achievement
The ideas you present are relevant to the question, but they are not explored in a clear or comprehensive manner. Improve the clarity of your ideas by clearly defining your arguments and ensuring they are easy to understand. Avoid complex sentences that confuse the reader.
task achievement
You provide some examples to support your arguments, which is good, but they could be more relevant and specific to your main idea. Aim to choose examples that directly support and illustrate your point. Avoid generalizations and make the link between your example and argument clear.