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Band 4.5

With the development of online media, there is no future for radio. To what extent do you agree?

#development #media #future #radio
In recent times, online media has drastically developed.
This
 may pose a concern for the future of radios. Some believe they will not be needed,
while
 opponents think
otherwise
. Online communication in today's day and age is the norm. There are apps, in which a person may listen to music, podcasts, or read more about books, the news, lyrics and magazines. In spite of the wide variety and broader spectrum of any subject, there are no social relations. These functions surpass that of a listening device. Unfortunately, the risks
such
 as
click bait
Correct your spelling
clickbait
show examples
 and misleading information affect toddlers and young teens.
Firstly
, channels provide adequate sources about the live action happening around the world
as well as
 the latest music. With many platforms where speakers interact with other people and
have talks
Wrong verb form
talk
show examples
 about intellectual topics.
In particular
, individuals usually switch on the radio in the car or in the morning when they are getting ready for work.
Furthermore
, many make a living and find enjoyment through
such
 interactions and influence on their fellow comrades.
Additionally
, children may
also
 join in the fun and sing to their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 hits.
Such
 activities cannot be provided over the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
thus
,
this
 entertainment device will be needed over the next few years. In conclusion, both sides have sufficient points. The media may have multiple purposes
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 provide risks. The radio doesn’t contain
such
 concerns and creates many talk shows and a learning environment.
Submitted by tshenkengm on

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task achievement
The introduction could more explicitly state your position on the issue to give a clearer indication of the direction your argument will take.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes the points made, but it could be enhanced by articulating a more decisive stance on the topic.
task achievement
Develop arguments further with specific examples and references to support your claims and enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a clear and logical organization of ideas. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be followed by supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs to improve the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Avoid vague terms and general statements. Aim for clarity and precision in your language to accurately convey your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • media consumption
  • diversifies
  • live streaming
  • podcasts
  • extinction
  • emergency broadcasting
  • accessibility
  • affordability
  • nostalgic
  • cultural significance
  • adaptability
  • relevance
  • community building
  • local news dissemination
  • emerging artists
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