A company in which every employee is made to feel important will run more smoothly and experience greater success than a company that values some employees above others. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
In today’s society, some staff members contend that when their
company
considers each employee equally important and ensures they feel a sense of achievement, rather than showing preference for certain employees
, it could bring more benefits to the company
. From my perspective, I agree with this
viewpoint.
There are several reasons why focusing on equality is essential. Firstly
, when all employees
feel valued, their motivation and job satisfaction increase significantly. This
positive work environment fosters higher productivity and better performance, as employees
are more likely to go the extra mile when they know their contributions are appreciated. For instance
, companies like Google and Apple, known for their inclusive cultures, consistently rank high in employee satisfaction and overall
success.
Moreover
, when employees
feel respected and important, they are more inclined to work together harmoniously towards common goals. This
collaborative spirit leads to innovative solutions and improvements in processes, ultimately benefiting the company
as a whole. On the other hand
, if some employees
feel undervalued, it can create resentment and competition, which can hinder teamwork and negatively impact the company
's performance.
However
, it is undeniable that emphasizing excessive fairness may cause some particularly hardworking or more contributive employees
to feel unbalanced.Nevertheless
, the company
should focus more on equality instead
of solely on certain employees
,ensuring that it can mitigate high turnover, which leads to costs due to
the additional resources required for recruitment and training.
In conclusion, an inclusive approach enhances motivation, encourages teamwork, and improves employee retention, all of which are key ingredients for a successful recipe for a thriving business.Submitted by zora840810 on
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task achievement
In your essay, ensure to fully develop all the points you mention and provide additional examples or evidence where necessary. This will strengthen your argument and enhance the task response score.
task achievement
Some parts of the essay would benefit from more explicit explanation or evidence to solidify the points made. For instance, expanding on how fairness leads to high employee satisfaction in diverse companies would make your argument even stronger.
coherence cohesion
Try to create more explicit links between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay. Use transitional phrases and connect ideas more clearly to improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for small grammatical errors or inconsistencies. While they don’t heavily impact comprehension, they can slightly reduce the clarity of your writing. Reviewing and editing your work carefully can help eliminate these issues.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, both of which are well-structured and frame the topic effectively.
supported main points
The main points are generally well-supported with relevant examples, adding depth to the essay.
logical structure
Logical progression of ideas is evident, and the argument is generally easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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