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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph demonstrates the proportion of changes
Correct pronoun usage
that occured
show examples
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 in the fee of three different metals which are
copper
Use synonyms
, zinc and
nickel
Use synonyms
 in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
,
copper
Use synonyms
 and
nickel
Use synonyms
 prices went down
while
Linking Words
 zinc prices went up slightly.
Nickel
Use synonyms
 was the one that showed
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
decrase
Correct your spelling
decrease
decreases
. Regarding the
copper
Use synonyms
 and
nickel
Use synonyms
, these were slightly changed during 2014.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there was
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
 three
month
Change to a plural noun
months
show examples
 for all three metals. In detail,
Nickel
Use synonyms
 showed
6
Correct article usage
a 6
show examples
% rise at the beginning of
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2014. It sharply
decrease
Change the verb form
decreases
show examples
 to 3% discount until June. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it started to increase and
end
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
 up
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
being 1% more than its previous
month
Change noun form
month's
show examples
 price in December.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
copper
Use synonyms
 and
nickel
Use synonyms
 did not show significant change throughout one year.
Copper
Use synonyms
 started the year with
2
Correct article usage
a 2
show examples
% rise and started to decrease steadily until May. After that, it started to increase and ended up nearly 1,5%. Regarding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zinc, it started with
1
Correct article usage
a 1
show examples
% rise and grew it 3% by February.
Then
Linking Words
 it showed
essential
Correct article usage
an essential
show examples
 decrease
1
Change preposition
of 1
show examples
% discount until June. It became 2%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the year.
Among
Change preposition
Between
show examples
 July and
September
Add a comma
September,
show examples
 the prices did not change and the market was stabilised.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words copper, nickel with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuate
  • volatile
  • stability
  • peak
  • trough
  • increment
  • decrement
  • steady
  • gradual
  • sharp
  • increase
  • decrease
  • month-on-month
  • average monthly change
  • commodity
  • benchmark
  • trend
  • precipitous
  • plateau
  • significant
  • marginal
  • surge
  • dip
  • plummet
  • soar
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