IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The map below shows the changes that have taken place at the waterfront area of a town called Darwin between 2009 and 2014.

The map below shows the changes that have taken place at the waterfront area of a town called Darwin between 2009 and 2014.
#changes #place #waterfront #area #town #darwin
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The presented maps display the development of the waterfront
area
Use synonyms
 in the town of Darwin in the period
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
 2009 and 2014. In general, there were several major changes in
this
Linking Words
 timeframe, including the replacement of industrial
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 with educational
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
 and green space
as well as
Linking Words
 the construction of a harbor. First of all,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the industrial
area
Use synonyms
 was completely demolished in 2014. A university building and a new swimming pool were constructed on the site where manufacturing activity used to occur.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, the
residential
Correct quantifier usage
number of residential
show examples
 buildings
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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doubled in 2014. The former industrial site got greener because some trees were planted there.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a harbour was built by the sea and a footpath connected it with the main road. Despite the progress, there were several places that remained intact.
For instance
Linking Words
, the school and the convention centre were
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same location, which was near the lake. The fishing
area
Use synonyms
 was
also
Linking Words
 still situated
at the end
Linking Words
 of the main road.
Submitted by tnindrasetiawan on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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