In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the ocuntry side is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays, many
people
throughout the world who live in the countryside
tend to immigrate to the cities
and the rural areas have become empty of individuals. I believe it is a negative change as it leads to unemployment
of Correct article usage
the unemployment
people
and a lack of safety in the countryside
.
This
phenomenon has several drawbacks. To begin
with, governments have facilitated manifold services and amenities in the countryside
of cities
and there was a trend which elders and youngsters move to there for a better life. As this
move is happening, these facilities will remain useless. In fact, the budget had been for new schools, hospitals, shops etc will be waste to a great extent. In addition
, several jobs and factories that have been established in recent years will be closed and many employees will be fired. Therefore
, I believe it is the fact that people
and jobs will be influenced negatively.
Additionally
, following
this
movement, the villages and countryside
will change to remote regions and empty of citizens. Hence
, the most important issue will be the safety and security of the remaining people
. As a remarkable section of these regions are elders, I assume that crimes such
as robbery will increase significantly. Some criminal experts have proven that crimes are much less in Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
cities
with a high population and many people
can defend themselves with the help of their neighbors
. Change the spelling
neighbours
To conclude
, this
veering to the cities
can lead to safety reduction for living in the the
rural accommodations.
In conclusion, Remove the redundancy
apply
although
people
are veering to move to the city centre due to
several reasons, this
idea causes two main problems including the non-use of amenities and the increasing guilt in the lack of people
in the suburbs.Submitted by farzin_seyednejad on
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coherence cohesion
Work on developing clear and pertinent main points. Your essay should have distinctly identifiable ideas with supporting arguments or examples that are pertinent to the task.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay exhibits a logical structure. Paragraphs should follow in a logical order, and ideas should connect to one another seamlessly within and between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are critical components of the essay. Ensure they are present and that they succinctly address the essay topic and encapsulate the main points of your argument.
task achievement
Expand your use of specific examples to support your arguments. While you touched upon governments' investment in amenities and crime levels, providing more detailed examples would strengthen your essay.
task achievement
Ensure your essay fully addresses the task by providing a balanced view on the topic when required, and by exploring the implications of the development discussed.
task achievement
Strive for clarity and comprehensiveness in your presentation of ideas. Each paragraph should encompass a clear main idea and explore it fully with supporting evidence or examples.