Some people say it is more important to spend money on roads and highways than on public transportation systems such as railways and buses. I agree that both systems have their advantages and disadvantages. I will discuss this topic by comparing them in the following paragraphs.
First,
roads
and highways
play a crucial role in daily life. Without well-maintained roads
, we cannot drive to the nearest drugstores, grocery stores, and hospitals by car. Similarly
, we cannot receive any product purchased online as soon as we now do if it were not highways
because it is usually trucks that bring us the products anywhere we want. Therefore
, a certain cost is inevitable for local governments to preserve roads
and highways
.
Second,
some have argued that public transportation
is no longer necessary. They stated that they do not need buses, trains, or taxis if they have their own cars. As an increasing number of people own their private cars for themselves, public transportation
cannot gain enough profits for maintenance in some rural areas. In fact, many local bus and rail companies have started to shrink their service ranges. It may take little time to eradicate local public transportation
systems in the future.
However
, I strongly disagree with the idea that traffic
roads
and traffic
services far outweigh public transportation
because we still need it, and the heavy use
of private cars causes some problems as well. For instance
, whenever we are drunk, we cannot drive a car in Japan, as driving in a drunk status is illegal and dangerous, killing many people every year. Thus
, we must use
public transportation
when we are not in good health. In addition
, excessive traffic
causes traffic
jams, which worsens air pollution in the city area and leads us to delay important schedules. For many opportunities, it is recommended to use
public transportation
to the destination according to
this
reason. Accordingly
, a public transportation
system is necessary in our lives, which
must be preserved.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that the expense of maintaining public Correct word choice
and
transportation
is important, as are the roads
and highways
for local governments. Although
there are some merits and demerits for both sides, people should understand and use
them wisely.Submitted by kana_ayaki on
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task achievement
While your response is complete and covers relevant points, there is room for a more balanced discussion. Consider providing more equal weight to both sides of the argument to enhance task response.
task achievement
Clarify certain points, such as providing more specific examples or data to support your argument. Ensure every point is elaborated fully for better comprehension.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure is logical, and ideas flow well, but there are a few moments where transitions between paragraphs can be smoother. Use more transitional phrases for better coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Even though an introduction and conclusion are present, the introduction could hint more at the arguments you'll discuss. Similarly, the conclusion could more succinctly summarize the main points, reinforcing your stance.
task achievement
You provided a well-rounded discussion and addressed both sides of the argument, making your essay comprehensive.
task achievement
Your main points were supported with relevant examples, especially the emphasis on the necessity of public transportation.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow and structure of your essay made it easy to follow and understand your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The presence of clear introduction and conclusion helped in framing your essay well and providing a complete response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.