Some countries allow old people to work to any age that they want. Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

These days, some nations do not have the retirement
age
for elders and they can
work
at any
age
if they want. I consider that
this
phenomenon has more advantages than disadvantages.
This
essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. There are some benefits of senior citizens
can
Correct pronoun usage
who can
show examples
work
at any
age
that they want. One of the major advantages is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it saves more time for companies. To clarify, enterprises do not
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hiring fresh
candidate
Fix the agreement mistake
candidates
show examples
to appoint because senior employees are not retired. Another major plus point is that the
government'
Change noun form
government's
show examples
budget may be spent on other improvements. To be more specific, elder people can be
independence
Replace the word
independent
show examples
and they can manage all their expenses without
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
financial support
such
as
pension
Add an article
a pension
show examples
. There are some drawbacks of retaining the senior staffs in working place. One of the major disadvantages is that it creates unemployment.
This
is because, senior employees
are worked in
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
long hours and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do not take
break
Fix the agreement mistake
breaks
show examples
from
work
, and
as a result
, youth generations who finish their graduation suffer
unemployment
Change preposition
from unemployment
show examples
. Another
drawbacks
Replace the adjective
drawback
show examples
is that it reduces the
productive
Replace the word
productivity
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
enterprises
due to
senior
Correct article usage
the senior
show examples
population
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
more health issues.
For instance
, if elders
work
In companies without young blood, productivity will
reduces
Change the verb form
reduce
show examples
because they suffer some
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
like
blood
Correct word choice
high blood
show examples
pressure,
sugar
Correct word choice
high sugar
show examples
and heart disease.
To conclude
, the
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
do not
alocate
Correct your spelling
allocate
locate
pension
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
to elders and it saves time for hiring new workers
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the advantages of the old people can
work
in any
age
while
it reduces the productivity in enterprises and it brings unemployment situations are the disadvantages.
This
trend has more benefits than drawbacks.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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