IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Many people believe that the government should provide free education for all children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #government #education #children
Education
 is essential for anyone to succeed in their life.Many parents believe that
education
 should be provided
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
free of cost which will help every child to complete their schooling. I completely agree
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 statement and will explain why it is important in detail below.
Firstly
, Students who
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 educated will be helpful to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and to the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 in the future. If
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 helps children
education
Change preposition
to education
show examples
 free later that will make their society in better shape and
also
 educated graduates will bring so many inventions and
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
run
Fix the infinitive
to run
show examples
successful
Add an article
a successful
show examples
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
.
Secondly
, it improves the
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 economic situation since people can able to create their own jobs and their inventions will be
a value
Replace the word
valuable
show examples
asset
Fix the agreement mistake
assets
show examples
 for them.
Finally
, more graduates can help the country to be well developed.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even
,
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 gets benefits in
later
Add an article
a later
show examples
 stage by providing free
education
 there will
be
Rephrase
definitely be
show examples
definetly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
difficulties
to provide
Change preposition
in providing
show examples
education
 completely free for everyone. To
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
this
initially
 it can try providing free for
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 5th grade and with a minimum free until higher
education
 for some years and later once the country is developing they can slowly make
this
education
 completely free. In Conclusion, making
childern
Correct your spelling
children
education
 free will always
be benefits
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 in
later
Add an article
a later
the later
show examples
 stage which not only makes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society better, it
also
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
county
Correct your spelling
country
show examples
developement
Correct your spelling
development
 in future.
Submitted by mailramkrish on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay's structure is somewhat evident but lacks clear and logical progression of ideas. Paragraphs need clearer topic sentences and better linkage. Transitions between ideas should be smoother, with a better mix of cohesive devices.
task achievement
The response to the task is relatively generic. You should develop arguments with more specific examples and details. The introduction should clearly state your stance and the conclusion should effectively summarise the key points. Aim for a more thorough exploration of both sides of the argument for greater balance and depth.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: