The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office

in one city over a six-month period in 2011.
The line chart illustrates the data of
inquiries
received by the travel agent office in
Correct article usage
a particularly
show examples
particularly
Change the word
particular
show examples
city over a half-year
period
in 2011.
Overall
,
it is clear that
the number of
inquiries
received in
person
and by telephone
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
rise
Replace the word
rose
show examples
significantly,
while
inquiries
by
letter
or
email
declined sharply during the
period
. Looking for more details, the
advice
of
inquiries
received by telephone and in
person
rose significantly in one city over a six-month
period
in 2011.
Moreover
, at 400
advice
in
person
at the
began
Replace the word
beginning
show examples
in January and
then
up to over 1800
advice
in
person
in June.
Likewise
, the data of
inquiries
received by telephone increased significantly
at
Change preposition
from
show examples
around 800 calls to 1600 calls by the same token. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the information by
letter
or
email
of
inquiries
received was went down sharply between January to June in
particularly
Change the word
particular
show examples
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
in 2011.
Furthermore
, at around 700
advice
by
letter
or
email
in January and
then
went down sharply to around 300 information by
letter
or
email
during the
period
.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words inquiries, period, person, letter, email, advice with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 3 times.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enquiries
  • Tourist Information Office
  • in person
  • by letter/email
  • by telephone
  • general trend
  • six-month period
  • significant increase
  • steady rise
  • decline
  • peak
  • fluctuations
  • monthly data
  • comparison
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!