IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You recently purchased a fitness program online which did not help you lose any weight. Write an email to the fitness instructor in about 150-200 words. Your email should include the following things: • Mention when and where you bought this course • Describe why you were disappointed • Urge the instructor to remedy the situation

#fitness #program #weight #email #instructor #course #remedy #situation
Dear Sir/Madam, I recently availed service for an online fitness program of your club. I want to bring your kind attention that the expedition was a disappointment, as it was not
according to
 the itinerary and the allied service was lacking. I bought
this
 course from the Toronto Misesaga branch
this
 is a fully online course. I had paid 1000$ full fees at one time. I have been doing
this
 daily workout for the
last
 1 month. I am following all instructions which is provided by the couch but still, there is no improvement in my body. I purchased
this
 course after two months of my wedding ceremony. I want to reduce my wait so I can feel better and pretty at my wedding. In
this
 program, your GYM provides fixed assurance and guarantees my friend suggested
this
 GYM. I was relay disallowed by the coach. They are not providing good service. The coach is not guiding properly they don’t have a workout schedule. Per day I am asking about exercises to coach. I hope you can understand my situation and take the necessary action and resolve
this
 issue on priority. Yours sincerely, Aakansah Lunkad
Submitted by t.akanksha.mba on

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coherence cohesion
The response includes an identifiable structure, but it is weak in places. Ensure that your writing has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Use paragraphs appropriately to separate different points or stages of your argument.
coherence cohesion
The ideas presented are relevant but lack clarity and development. Strive to express your points more comprehensively. Using a variety of linking words accurately will help improve the cohesion of your writing.
task achievement
The response adequately addresses the task but lacks depth in places. Provide a more detailed description of your disappointment and clearer suggestions on how the situation can be remedied. Make sure your email is fully responsive to all parts of the prompt, providing specific examples and a well-explained resolution request.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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