Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Today, more and more people are turning to
alternative
medicines and
treatments
instead
of visiting conventional doctors. It is a negative development and will give people reasons to back up.
Firstly
,
this
trend has negative consequences as it can lead to harmful results. There have been numerous cases where patients of
alternative
medicines have experienced worsened
health
conditions or even death
due to
a lack of scientific evidence.
Secondly
, clients of
alternative
treatments
are often deceived or spend excessive money. It is essential to trust modern medicine, which has proven effective.
Additionally
, it is crucial to encourage others to seek help from conventional doctors and avoid
alternative
treatments
, which can cause physical, emotional, and financial harm. In a modern economy in which almost everyone is suffering or will suffer in the future from a couple of epidemic diseases, like obesity, coronavirus and diabetes, multiple pharmaceutical companies are competing with each other to make better medication for these diseases, and the sooner they make their
drugs
, the better.
However
,
this
rush that they have to bring their
drugs
into the business has some negative aspects.
Although
some of these new and
alternative
drugs
might work more effectively from a short-term perspective, they could have unexpected and significant side effects in the future since they have not been appropriately tested. In conclusion, with the increasing number of
health
problems, it is essential to prioritize our
health
and trust modern medicine
instead
of risking it with unproven
alternative
treatment. The proportion of people with
health
problems who are turning away from their usual physician and turning to try
alternative
medicines and
treatments
is growing daily. It is a negative change because it can lead to the neglect of the patient’s history and undesirable causes of these new
drugs
.
Submitted by L on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the task fully. Offer a more balanced view and provide clear arguments for why the development might be considered positive or negative. Including more specific examples would strengthen your essay and help illustrate your points more convincingly.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on the logical flow of your ideas. Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more clearly. Make sure your paragraphs are well-structured and that each one has a clear central idea.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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