IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Technological devices are now popular. Students should be allowed to use their phones in class to help them learn better

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today’s world, Technological
devices
Use synonyms
 are very familiar
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 and they should have permission to use phones for learning purposes in order to perform better in school. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and
this
Linking Words
 essay will contribute the facts for my agreement. On the one hand, technological
devices
Use synonyms
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 developed throughout many years that they
became
Wrong verb form
have become
show examples
an essential equipment
Remove the article
essential equipment
a piece of essential equipment
show examples
 in everyone’s daily life. With their convenience, they make people’s lives
more and more easier
Change the word
easier and easier
easier
show examples
to access
Change preposition
by accessing
show examples
 news,
information
Correct word choice
and information
show examples
 and
connect
Wrong verb form
connecting
show examples
 with others.
Students
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 have the
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
to approach
Change preposition
of approaching
show examples
 lots of study materials like online tests, mock tests and guidance videos.
In addition
Linking Words
, technological
devices
Use synonyms
 will help
students
Use synonyms
 connect with other friends, even teachers, to resolve all their queries despite their long distance.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, technological
devices
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as phones or computers can have a negative effect on youngsters if they exploit it uncontrollably
such
Linking Words
 as gaming addiction, the use of wrong purposes and being affected by corrupted influencers. Not only do they make the young lose their interaction with other people but the young can neglect their future by performing badly in school.
This
Linking Words
 will lead
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many fallen teenagers to commit illegal acts to provide for their needs because of their lack of knowledge. In conclusion, Technology
devices
Use synonyms
 play an important role in everyone’s life. they allow
students
Use synonyms
 an easy way to have bigger advantages for their educational purpose. With the right management,
students
Use synonyms
 can perform better if they can use phones for the right goals.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay follows a clear and logical structure. Introduce each point coherently, and make sure to connect your ideas with transition words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Remember that an effective introduction and conclusion are crucial for a well-rounded essay. Your conclusion sums up your argument and reiterates your main points succinctly.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with detailed examples and explanations. Each argument should be backed with clear and relevant information to demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task effectively. Make sure you respond to each aspect of the question and provide a comprehensive answer.
task achievement
Ideas should be expressed clearly and developed comprehensively. Ensure that your essay presents your viewpoint with clarity and depth.
task achievement
Include specific examples to substantiate your arguments. These examples should be relevant and directly support your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: