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In today’s world, Technological devices are very familiar to students and they should have permission to use phones for learning purposes in order to perform better in school

#today’s #world #devices #students #permission #phones #purposes #school
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In today’s world, Technological
devices
 are very familiar to
students
 and they should have permission to use phones for learning purposes in order to perform better in school. I agree with
this
 statement and
this
 essay will contribute the facts to my agreement. On the one hand, technological
devices
 developed
throughout
Change preposition
over
show examples
 so many years that they become essential equipment in everyone’s daily lives. With their convenience, people can easily access news,
information
Correct word choice
and information
show examples
 and connect with others.
Students
also
 have the advantage
to approach
Change preposition
of approaching
show examples
 lots of study materials like online tests, mock tests and guidance videos.
In addition
, technological
devices
 will help
students
 connect with other friends, even teachers, to resolve all their queries despite their long distance.
On the other hand
, technological
devices
such
 as phones or computers can have a negative effect on youngsters if they exploit them uncontrollably
such
 as gaming addiction, misuse for wrong purposes and being affected by corrupted influencers. Not only do they make the young lose their interaction with other people but they can neglect their future by performing badly in school.
This
 will lead many teenagers to commit illegal acts to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their needs because of their lack of knowledge. In conclusion, Technology
devices
 play an important role in everyone’s life. They provide
students
an
Add the preposition
with an
show examples
 easy way to fulfill their educational purpose. With the right management,
students
 can perform better
Submitted by weezel on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs clearly follow a logical structure, with each paragraph starting with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details. This will help increase the coherence of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Be consistent with the use of cohesive devices. While your introduction and conclusion are present, there is room for improvement when it comes to establishing strong, clear connections between paragraphs.
task achievement
Develop your main points further with specific examples and details. This helps to support your arguments more effectively and demonstrates a greater task achievement.
task achievement
Make sure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. This is crucial to demonstrate that the complete response criterion is met.
task achievement
Work on providing clearer and more comprehensive ideas by expanding on your explanations and showing a deeper analysis of the topic. This will improve the clarity of your writing and help convey your arguments more persuasively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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