Some people say that having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Do you agree or disagree?
Work, eat, sleep repeat can be seen as the basis
to
the average human Change preposition
of
life
. However
, life
has a key element that makes all these boring aspects worthwhile, leisure. Within the first paragraph
the positive aspects of having less free Add a comma
paragraph,
time
and more money
will be discussed and the paragraph to follow will show why having more free time
and less money
is not beneficial.
Firstly
, the reason as to
why having more Change preposition
apply
money
and less free time
is better is simply because of the opportunities that it can afford you. Money
makes the whole world go round as per the metaphor: ” money
is like water, it’s something that you desire but can’t live without.” Leisure can only be afforded to those who have Capitalize word
Money
money
as it solves most of our problems. Therefore
, money
allows people to have a higher standard of living and higher
quality of free Correct article usage
a higher
time
.
Secondly
having more free time
as opposed to more money
depreciates your quality of life
. This
state puts you in a bind as once you have more free time
you instinctively become lazier and counterproductive. People who choose not to pursue money
but rather more free time
are far less likely to be happy as most of the necessities in life
require money
, which is what they deprive themselves of.
To conclude
the essay, leisure in the correct proportion to money
allows one to attain happiness through quality of free time
rather than quantity of free time
.Submitted by tshenkengm on
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task achievement
Make sure that you are directly addressing the question throughout the essay. Your argument would benefit from more pointedly answering whether you agree or disagree that having more money and less free time is better, with clear and definitive statements.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that you have a clear topic sentence for each paragraph which outlines the main idea for that paragraph, and that all subsequent sentences directly support that topic sentence.
task achievement
Each main point should be backed up with specific examples. The essay could be improved with the inclusion of statistics, personal anecdotes, or studies that illustrate the arguments made.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow between your ideas can be enhanced by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to show contrast, cause and effect, or to add information. This improves coherence and helps the reader to follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Work on a more comprehensive introduction and conclusion that more directly address the essay prompt. While both the introduction and conclusion are present, they could more clearly outline and summarize your stance on the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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