IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You want to hold a surprise party for a friend who is visiting his home town after a long time from a foreign country. Write a letter to a common friend asking for his help in organizing the party and in your letter: Write the reasons for organizing the party Describe when, where and how you would be organizing the party Ask your friend to meet you in person for further discussions

#surprise #party #friend #home #town #time #country #person #discussions
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Hello Dilay, How is going on? I hope
this
 letter finds you well. I have a great
suprise
Correct your spelling
surprise
 for you! Did you hear that? Our
ex roommate
Add a hyphen
ex-roommate
show examples
,Emre is visiting London
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 weekend. We have
never
Rephrase
not
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 seen each other for 3 years!
Actually
Add a comma
Actually,
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 I have an idea. As you know tomorrow is Emre's birthday and I decided to organize a
suprise
Correct your spelling
surprise
 birthday party on Saturday. That's why I need your help. I
tought
Correct your spelling
thought
taught
 that, we
can
Wrong verb form
could
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 organize the birthday party at Mc Laren's bar.
Did
Wrong verb form
Do
show examples
 you remember? We were escaping from the school and going to drink beer at Mc Laren's bar. Ten years
past
Correct your spelling
passed
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,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 time
flies
Wrong verb form
flew
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. Because of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 memories, I think that
Mc Laren's
Correct your spelling
McLaren's
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 bar is the perfect match! I will invite our close friends from
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
 and Emre's girlfriend Ayşe. It'll be great if you can help me
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 organization. How about meeting up for a meal sometime soon? I've made a reservation for us in Quick China
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
tuesday
Change the capitalization
Tuesday
show examples
. It's the best sushi restaurant in the town. You'll love it! And
also
 we can discuss about party's details. Anyway, let's meet up soon. Best Regards, Merve
Submitted by mervekerkuklu on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a single idea to improve clarity and organization. Avoid mixing details about the party with other topics within the same paragraph.
task achievement
The response partially addresses the task, mentioning the reason and details for the party, and asking for help. However, specifics of the party organization, such as tasks for the friend, are not clear. Include more clear-cut responsibilities for your friend to improve task completion.
task achievement
Use a more formal greeting and closing for consistency in tone, as the letter fluctuates between informal and semi-formal styles. Maintain a consistent level of formality throughout the letter.
coherence cohesion
Develop a clearer logical structure by grouping related information together and ensuring that your paragraphs flow in a logical order, focusing on the party organization.
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