IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Newspapers have influenced people's idea and opinions. What are the reason for this? Is this a positive or a nagative devlopment?

#newspapers #people #idea #reason #nagative #devlopment
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In recent times number of individuals who are
effected
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affected
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 by media has surged.
Although
 it brings about more problems than it solves, it may prove to be a mixed blessing. As we live in the age of
internet
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the internet
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 the
availablity
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availability
 of the news in both physical and online style is growing, which has led to an increase in
number
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a number
the number
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 of people who are influenced by them.
Newspapers
 are alleged to play a vital role in
human's
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human
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 thinking style, especially among the elderly, which is true.
This
 matter has
occured
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occurred
 by
policy makers
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policymakers
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, specifically in
tyranical
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tyrannical
 regimes, to shape people's thinking and lifestyle.
On the other hand
, it is economically beneficial for the shareholders of
newspapers
 so they do anything in order to have a more charming newspaper. It is just half of the picture;
this
 matter needs to be seen on a broader canvas.
While
 there are both merits and demerits on
this
 issue. Media has the power to shape our
mind
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minds
show examples
 and force the community to think and behave the same.
Moreover
,
Media
Correct article usage
the Media
show examples
 can make us believe what it wants to which is a serious matter. Because of these drawbacks some people
deciede
Correct your spelling
decide
 not to read
newspapers
 and magazines but a smart reader should read various
number
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numbers
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 of them and
then
 choose whether they are fake news or not which is too optimistic to become practical. In conclusion, the
effectivness
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effectiveness
 of
newspapers
are
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is
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 inevitable and they are an
inseprable
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inseparable
 part of our life. The disadvantages of
this
 problem far outweigh its advantages.
Submitted by alifarzaneh on

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coherence cohesion
There are several structural issues with the essay that impede the flow and coherence of the argument. Introduce paragraphs for different ideas and utilize clear topic sentences to establish what each paragraph will discuss. Develop ideas fully before moving to the next point.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion of the essay are present but lack clarity. The introduction should clearly state the scope of the essay and your thesis statement, while the conclusion should summarize the main points discussed and restate your opinion clearly.
coherence cohesion
Some main points are provided but they need better support and development. Use specific examples, evidence, or data to substantiate your arguments and to provide a clear line of reasoning throughout the essay.
task achievement
You need to make sure that your essay fully responds to all parts of the question. The reasons for newspapers' influence and whether it is a positive or negative development should be addressed separately and with equal depth.
task achievement
Clarify and organize your ideas to ensure comprehensive coverage of the topic. It's important that each paragraph explores a single clear idea that contributes to the overall argument or discussion of the topic.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, including relevant examples and case studies would enhance the essay by providing evidence for your claims and helping to illustrate your points more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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