IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Write about the following topic. Graduates who cannot find work in their chosen field should be advised to do a second degree, rather than taking a job that does not interest them. - To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #graduates #work #field #second #job #interest
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Nowadays, it is difficult for students who have just completed their studies to find a
job
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.Some
people
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 say that it is better to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
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 and get a
second
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 degree than to look for a
job
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. I do not agree with
this
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 statement. It can be argued that most
people
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 want to be successful. It is
for
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this
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 reason that students who have completed their studies strive to find a
job
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 faster. Yes, maybe if you go to get a
second
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education
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, it will be easier to find a
job
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 with good earnings, but nowadays everything can be easier. Now
people
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 are developing in different fields and in order to become successful or get a good
job
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, it is not necessary to have a
second
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education
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. I believe that if a person wants something and makes every effort to do it,
then
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 everything will work out.
However
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, if we consider the option of a
second
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education
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,
then
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 perhaps
this
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 will help students save time on career growth. If two
people
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 get a
job
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 and one has two educations, and the
second
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 one has one,
then
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 of course the first person will be hired. When you go to get a
second
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education
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, it is important to take into account your life situation, and if it allows you to get a
second
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education
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 rather than work,
then
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this
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 is a good option.
Thus
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, a
second
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education
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 is good, but
if
Rephrase
only if
show examples
 you have the opportunity to receive it. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 getting a
second
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 higher
education
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 may be beneficial for some, it is not the only solution. Graduates should take into account their financial situation,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 value of practical experience and do what they see fit.
Submitted by khotkina.ma on

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to strengthen your argument. Personal or real-world examples related to graduates seeking jobs or pursuing a second degree can enhance your response.
task achievement
Ensure your main points are clearly developed and well-supported with detailed explanations. This will lead to a more comprehensive and convincing essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a solid framework for the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The writer presents a clear stance on the issue, making it easier for readers to understand their position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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