Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
It is argued that a number of
children
spend some times
on their Fix the agreement mistake
time
smartphones
regularly. This
happens due to
several reasons, namely the advertisement of technology and the entertainment
offered by utilizing smartphone
. I wholeheartedly believe that Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
this
phenomenon impacting
the younger generation negatively even though there might be a few positive results as well.
It is legitimate that Wrong verb form
impacts
children
these days own smartphones
and use
them daily. The predominant reason for this
is due to
the advancement of technology. Smartphone
is fairly small in site
, yet we can almost do many things with it. Its efficiency has caused people, including Correct your spelling
size
children
, to carry it and use
it everywhere. Further
, the internet plays a crucial role in the popularity of smartphones
among children
. With a connected device, they are able to access the internet freely. Chatting with friends, watching Youtube
, playing online games, creating social media Correct your spelling
YouTube
Fix the agreement mistake
content
contents
, and calling their parents are some of the prime examples of the Fix the agreement mistake
content
use
of Correct article usage
a smartphone
smartphone
. Correct article usage
a smartphone
Thus
, it is justifiable for the
young people to spend much time on their phones since there are many things they can benefit from it.
Subsequent to that, many Correct article usage
apply
children
love smartphones
because of the entertainment
offered by them. The youth these days are glued to their phones to fulfill
their needs to be entertained. Change the spelling
fulfil
This
is why online games have become very popular as it
can be easily accessed through Correct pronoun usage
they
phone
. Fix the agreement mistake
phones
Similarly
, it has been proven that the
teenagers Correct article usage
apply
made
up Wrong verb form
make
for
Change preposition
apply
the
most users Correct article usage
apply
for
Change preposition
of
tiktok
. Correct your spelling
TikTok
Hence
, many children
use
their phone
to dive Fix the agreement mistake
phones
on
Change preposition
into
the
social media for Correct article usage
apply
entertainment
purpose
.
Even though there might be some positive impact of the Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
use
of smartphone
for Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
children
. I think its negative impacts outweigh the goods. Children
have become less physically active because they prefer to sit and play with their phones. Moreover
, the researcher have
an Change the verb form
has
on-going
study in Correct your spelling
ongoing
regards
to the Fix the agreement mistake
regard
short-attention
span of Correct your spelling
short attention
this
young generation. They are seeing
a connection between the attention span of the Wrong verb form
see
children
and the time spent on smartphones
.
To recapitulate, there are main causes of why children
tend to spend hours each day on phone
. Correct article usage
the phone
This
are
driven by the efficiency of using Change the verb form
is
internet
Add an article
the internet
as well as
entertainment
purpose
. Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
To
my view, Change preposition
In
this
phenomenon leads to many negative impact
on the Change to a plural noun
impacts
children
’s well-being.Submitted by e.warikar on
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task achievement
Your essay mostly addresses the topic, but it falls short on fully fleshing out the reasons and implications related to children's use of smartphones. Expand on the impact of technology on children and offer more in-depth analysis and discussion to enhance the task response.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay could be improved by better organization of ideas and more effective paragraph transitions. Provide clearer topic sentences and ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next for improved cohesion.
coherence cohesion
In terms of supporting your main points, aim to incorporate a more diverse range of examples and evidence. This will strengthen the argument and provide a firmer grounding for your views on the subject matter.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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