In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, a
person
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has to sometimes travel away from their loved ones in order to get a job.
This
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essay will argue that despite getting the desired
work
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and exploring new places, the disadvantages of living away from family members and friends and the negative impact on health means the drawbacks are more than the advantages. On the one hand, when someone migrates, it allows him or her to explore new places.
This
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results in increasing a
person
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's ability to cope with new conditions.
Moreover
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,
this
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also
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increases the chance of getting a
work
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of their choice, which if they do not move, they would not have to get it.
That is
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why the main reason for people moving to a different city is to improve their careers.
On the other hand
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, moving away from the closed ones is not easy. People usually miss their loved ones when they are away from them.
Also
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, it is difficult for some people to make new friends and adjust to a different environment, with which they are unfamiliar. All these factors negatively affect a
person
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's health. The psychological effect of living away
also
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affects their
work
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.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by a multinational corporation found that 30% of their employees, who have to travel because of their
work
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, resigned within the first year. In conclusion, the psychological impact of moving away from the home on
work
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is sometimes drastic on a
person
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's health.
For
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this
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reason, I believe that the negatives far outweigh the positives.
Submitted by saadanwer89 on

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Personal anecdotes or statistics can make your points more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using transition words and phrases can improve readability.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear structure with a strong introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points effectively.
complete response
You have clearly outlined both the advantages and disadvantages, providing a balanced view on the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • relocation
  • employment prospects
  • professional development
  • cultural exposure
  • isolation
  • familial relationships
  • cost of living
  • career progression
  • mental health
  • significant life events
  • higher salaries
  • support families
  • broaden horizons
  • living standards
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