You recently visited a dog park and were disturbed by the lack of control the owners imposed on their dogs, making them dangerous for everyone around. Write an email to your local municipality in about 150-200 words. Your email should include the following things: • Describe the situation • Explain why the dogs were a danger to others • Propose a solution

#dog #park #lack #control #owners #dogs #email #municipality #situation #danger

Dear Sir/Madam The purpose of my writing today is to inform you about a dog

park

complaint there are multiple owners imposed on their dogs, It's making it dangerous for everyone around the

park

. I recently visited

this

park

with my daughter. We were roaming in here and there in the

park

and suddenly one dag had attacked my baby girl. That was a very dangerous situation for me I had to try to resolve

this

from my end

Furthermore

there are no security guards available to protect people in

this

stressful time.

This

Park

is a danger to others Most of the time senior citizens and kids are continuously coming into

this

park

. Because near

this

park

most of the good shops and vegetable markets are available.

Additionally

, the municipality team has to take control of

this

location.

This

will be helpful for people. As per my point of you in

this

garden, a security guard is required who is take care of

this

park

and dog and some gods are in infected that municipality team have take it another location so another gad will be safe and it will not dangerous for others. I hope your team will take every action on dangerous things. Your cooperation in

this

matter is greatly appreciated

further

, an open line of communication, from your side in

this

case would greatly help out. Yours Sincerely, Aakansah Tiwari

Submitted by t.akanksha.mba on Fri Dec 22 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks coherence and proper logical structure, making it difficult to follow. To improve coherence, consider organizing ideas more systematically by starting with an introduction that sets the context, followed by body paragraphs presenting each issue and your proposed solutions clearly.

coherence cohesion

There is a lack of introduction and conclusion that clearly states the purpose of the email and the expected outcome. Make sure to include an introductory phrase that leads into the content of the email and a concluding sentence that wraps up your request or conveys a call to action.

coherence cohesion

While the essay does mention the main points around dog control issues, the argument is weak and unsupported. Enhance your argument by providing more explicit examples and clearer explanations of the dangers posed by the dogs and how exactly these could be mitigated with your solutions.

task achievement

You have addressed the task; however, the response is not completely developed. To fully meet the task achievement criteria, ensure that you provide a more comprehensive description of the situation by including specific examples and clearly explaining why the dogs were a danger.

task achievement

The ideas presented are somewhat relevant but lack clarity and comprehensiveness. It is crucial to clearly articulate the specific concerns and reasons why dogs without supervision are problematic, so the municipality can take appropriate action.

task achievement

While you mentioned a personal experience, the essay needs more relevant and specific examples of the dangers caused by unsupervised dogs. Concrete instances will substantiate your claims and help illustrate the severity of the situation to the municipality.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

9 paragraphs

234 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that youngsters should be required to have full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. What extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?