IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.

#countries #home #people
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Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 contemplate more
whether
Change preposition
about whether
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 they should buy or
rent
Use synonyms
 a
house
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. In numerous countries, it is vital for
people
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 to own one rather than
renting
Wrong verb form
rent
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 it. Both ways have their advantages and disadvantages. In my
perspectives
Fix the agreement mistake
perspective
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, owning
a
Correct article usage
apply
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one is more beneficial in many ways
such
Linking Words
 as financial and social status. There are reasons to support the claim.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, purchasing a
house
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 is a huge payment. It usually takes a legion of years to complete the
installment
Change the spelling
instalment
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
people
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 who can afford a
house
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 would be the
people
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 who have no monetary issues.
This
Linking Words
 will make the owner of the
house
Use synonyms
 have a better place in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society as they are financially successful.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 might
also
Linking Words
 have a good impact on some
people
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’s
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 who need to gain
trust
Correct article usage
the trust
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from
Change preposition
of
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people
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,
for example
Linking Words
, investors. By owning a
house
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, they would look more trustworthy;
hence
Linking Words
,
people
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 will believe what they say or suggest, meaning more
people
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 will be confident enough to invest with them.
In addition
Linking Words
, buying a
house
Use synonyms
 is considered a positive — it is a kind of investment. Even though you are no longer living there, you can still let someone
rent
Use synonyms
 it. If someone is renting your
house
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, they will have to pay the
rent
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 to you every month.
This
Linking Words
 means that you will constantly gain some money from letting
people
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rent
Use synonyms
 your
house
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.
This
Linking Words
 will be the other way of gaining money apart from your main job. In conclusion, owning a
house
Use synonyms
 has a variety of advantages. The owner will have a better place in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society,
look
Correct word choice
and look
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 more trustworthy.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 an investment.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is not surprising that, in some countries, it is essential for
people
Use synonyms
 to have their own
house
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

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coherence cohesion
You need to ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Some paragraphs lack a strong linking sentence to weave the points together seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to include an introduction and conclusion that clearly define the scope of the essay and summarize the main points without introducing new arguments.
coherence cohesion
Support each of your main points with specific, detailed examples. If necessary, do so by extending or developing your ideas further to add depth to your arguments.
task achievement
While you have responded to the task, it's important to cover all parts of the prompt completely. Ensure your response fully answers the question and remains on topic.
task achievement
Your ideas should be clear, well-thought-out, and comprehensive. Ensure each paragraph explores its main idea thoroughly, and contributes to the overall position of the essay.
task achievement
Use relevant, specific examples to substantiate your points. Examples should be pertinent and enrich the arguments you are presenting in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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