IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Last month you had a foreign holiday where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to your friends. In your letter: explain why you didn’t write earlier thank them for the photos and for the holiday describe your favourite memory from the holiday.

#month #holiday #friends #photos #didn’t #favourite #memory
Dear Ann, I am very sorry I haven't written for so long. My work keeps me so busy, that I never have a spare minute. How is everything? I was on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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top of the world when I received
our
Change the word
the
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 holiday photos
you've
Unnecessary verb
you
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 sent. It's a genuine pleasure to see every single one as they remind me of our adorable vacation So, thank you for the photos and excellent time together. By the
way
Add a comma
way,
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 it comes to my mind a fun thing
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 to us. Frankly , I remember like it was yesterday our day in the
maintains
Replace the word
maintenance
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 on the third day of our holiday. The views were breathtaking and I wanted to remember all of them. Luckily, we took a number of photos. during
this
 time, so we can go back to
this
 joyful memory any time . Please write me back and tell me about your favourite memory from our vacation I'm looking forward to your reply! yours, Stacey
Submitted by ulasasha3 on

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coherence cohesion
Your letter is well structured with an appropriate greeting and closing, but it could be improved by organizing the content into clearer paragraphs, each with a single idea. It is important to break down different ideas into separate paragraphs to enhance readability and coherence.
task achievement
You have addressed all parts of the task, conveying thanks and describing a memory. However, you should elaborate more on each point to fully extend your response and provide a more detailed explanation of why you couldn't write earlier.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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