Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opmion

Advertisement
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Advertisements
show examples
play a crucial role in
business
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the business
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sector
as well as
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in people
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people
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people's
show examples
lives. Some claim that adverts can foster
to buy
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buying
show examples
products by
detail
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detailed
show examples
description
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descriptions
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of the
things
while
others say that it
just
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is just
show examples
a normal thing the population do not
pay
Verb problem
apply
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focus on. I strongly agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons. On the one hand, advertisements give the product's details which how to use, what are the ingredients are included in briefly in order to
people
have to understand about the
produts
Correct your spelling
products
. To clarify, it can stimulate to buy
things
frequently
by
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through
show examples
their
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its
show examples
varieties of
ad
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ads
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.
For example
, actors and
actress
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actresses
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act the
advertisement
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advertisements
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while
people
can blindly believe their favourite persons who acted
then
they will buy constantly.
In other words
, it influences the population to purchase unwanted stuff too.
Then
, advertisements
manipulating
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manipulate
show examples
public
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the public
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to purchase many
things
.
On the other hand
,
ad
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the ad
an ad
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is just a normal thing
people
should not give focus to it.
This
is because
,
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apply
show examples
it brings
determental
Correct your spelling
detrimental
effects
among
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to
show examples
the population
such
as it
manupulates
Correct your spelling
manipulates
manipulated
to buy unwanted
stuffs
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stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
constantly.
For instance
, a recent report done by the Times of India said that more than 70% of
the
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apply
show examples
individuals purchase products by influencing the ad that really not required.
This
foster
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fosters
show examples
people
's consumerism and product choices,
thus
, frequently buying many
things
can affect the economic situation
to
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of
show examples
people
.
Hence
, folks should not
give
Verb problem
pay
show examples
attention to
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
because it is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
normal.
To conclude
,
although
advertisement
gives full information about a particular product like ingredients and how to use it,
it
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they
show examples
brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
show examples
more detrimental effects
due to
buy
Change the verb form
buying
show examples
constantly unwanted
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
.
Therefore
, in my opinion
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
,
advertisement
is just a normal thing we should not give more attention to
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
Throughout your essay, it is important to maintain a clear and logical progression of ideas. Aim to organize your paragraphs with clear topic sentences and supporting sentences that expand on the main idea coherently. Transition words should be used effectively to link ideas within and across paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are concise and effectively summarize your main points. While present, both lacked a sophisticated construction that communicates your stance and sums up the essay. The introduction should clearly state the topic and your thesis, whereas the conclusion should reiterate your viewpoint without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
To strengthen your main points, develop your ideas with clear explanations, and include more specific and detailed examples to support your arguments. Your essay presented a general overview, but richer detail would enhance the impact of your writing.
task achievement
Make sure that you address all parts of the task. While you discussed both views, the argument could have been more balanced, with equal attention to each side before introducing your opinion. The essay should reflect a complete response to every aspect of the task prompt.
task achievement
The ideas you presented were related to the task, but they need to be expressed more comprehensively. Work on developing clearer and more systematic arguments. This can be achieved by spending more time analyzing each point of view and your own stance, ensuring you explain the reasoning behind your opinion.
task achievement
Try to incorporate relevant and specific examples to substantiate your claims. You included an example, but it was somewhat generic. More precise and varied examples would enhance the effectiveness of your arguments and demonstrate an understanding of the topic at hand.

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