Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opmion

#people #attention #opmion

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

because it is

Change the article

apply

show examples

normal.

To conclude

although

gives full information about a particular product like ingredients and how to use it,

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

brings

Correct subject-verb agreement

bring

show examples

more detrimental effects

due to

buy

Change the verb form

buying

show examples

constantly unwanted

stuffs

Change the wording

stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

show examples

Therefore

, in my opinion

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

this

is just a normal thing we should not give more attention to

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Submitted by reanudeepan on Fri Dec 22 2023

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coherence cohesion

Throughout your essay, it is important to maintain a clear and logical progression of ideas. Aim to organize your paragraphs with clear topic sentences and supporting sentences that expand on the main idea coherently. Transition words should be used effectively to link ideas within and across paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your introduction and conclusion are concise and effectively summarize your main points. While present, both lacked a sophisticated construction that communicates your stance and sums up the essay. The introduction should clearly state the topic and your thesis, whereas the conclusion should reiterate your viewpoint without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

To strengthen your main points, develop your ideas with clear explanations, and include more specific and detailed examples to support your arguments. Your essay presented a general overview, but richer detail would enhance the impact of your writing.

task achievement

Make sure that you address all parts of the task. While you discussed both views, the argument could have been more balanced, with equal attention to each side before introducing your opinion. The essay should reflect a complete response to every aspect of the task prompt.

task achievement

The ideas you presented were related to the task, but they need to be expressed more comprehensively. Work on developing clearer and more systematic arguments. This can be achieved by spending more time analyzing each point of view and your own stance, ensuring you explain the reasoning behind your opinion.

task achievement

Try to incorporate relevant and specific examples to substantiate your claims. You included an example, but it was somewhat generic. More precise and varied examples would enhance the effectiveness of your arguments and demonstrate an understanding of the topic at hand.

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opmion

Nowadays many poeple choose p be selfe-employed,rather than to work for a company or orgnasation. why might this be the case? what would be disadvantages of being self-employed?

People face a lot of difficulty in giving a speech or presentation in public. If the children are being taught in schools, about how to give speech in public, would it be better. How important is it to learn how to speak in public? Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give relevant examples

task 2: Some people think news has no connection to people’s life. Therefore, it is a waste of time to read the newspaper and watch television program. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people’s skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effects they have in terms of health and society.

Some people think it is better to have many short holidays during the years. Others believe it would be beneficial to have fewer longer vacation. Discuss both view and give your opinion.