IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Details of politician's private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#politician #lives #newspapers
Many
Argue
Fix capitalization
argue
show examples
 that politicians' personal lives should be shared publicly and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 argue that they should not be published on social media. I strongly agree with the second statement and going to elaborate on my point of view in
further
 paragraphs with the help of examples. First and foremost, publishing political people's private lives could negatively affect their lives. It means that they can get problems with their mental and physical health if their haters know their address and personal details .
While
 the journalist and paparazzi try to chase them when they are driving they can get into an accident.
For instance
, Princess Diana in England passed away in
accident
Add an article
an accident
the accident
show examples
, when reporters were chasing her when she was driving and escaping from them.
On the other hand
, it is
also
 a threat to the basic human rights of a person.
However
, they have the right to be protected and the right to keep their details private.
For example
, many American politicians suffer from stalking by reporters, whenever they hang out with their family, which makes them feel uncomfortable and unsafe.
Although
, for that reason, most of the ministers always have bodyguards following them to protect them. In conclusion, in my opinion, it seems that it is unfair to print about someone's private life without their permission, as it can
cause
Verb problem
have
show examples
serious
Correct article usage
a serious
show examples
 impact on their life and Goodwill,
Moreover
, it is essential to make tight rules for those who disturb
privacy
Add an article
the privacy
show examples
 of Congress person by crossing their boundaries and provide strict regulation to diminish
this
 issue.
Submitted by poonam.tushir0099 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay provides a comprehensive discussion on the topic, elaboration on why politicians' private lives should remain private could strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance the logical flow and connection between ideas.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant examples, such as the case of Princess Diana, to strengthen the argument against publishing details of politicians' private lives.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion help frame your main argument effectively.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: