IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

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The effects of innate
characteristics
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 and any
experiences
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 on
people
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's
personality
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 are debatable. Research suggests that inborn
characteristics
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more
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have more
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 effect on
personality
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 compared with any
experiences
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people
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 have.
This
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 essay will discuss why I believe that the major effect on
people
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's
personality
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 and development is a result of
experiences
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. First of all, it is probably true to say that innate
characteristics
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 might play a key role in
people
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's
personality
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 and progress.
This
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 can be explained by a marginal number of
people
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 who have a certain talent
such
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 as Mozart or Da Vinci. The influence of
characteristics
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 on
personality
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 can be seen obviously in these
people
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's lives because without any exception we can observe their
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personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
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 at their early ages.
As a result
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, these few extraordinary
people
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 have reflected their innate character traits in their own lives and progress without any
experience
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.
On the other hand
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,
although
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 the research result has shown that inborn
characteristics
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more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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influence
personality
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indeed
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apply
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, having
experience
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also
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 can be considered the most important factor in shaping
personality
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.
This
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 can be exemplified by human nature because
people
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 can take a lesson from mistakes that
consequence
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consequences
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 of any
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experiences
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experience
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. These learned mistakes might
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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assist
to develop
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in developing
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 personalities
instead
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 of the influence of innate
characteristics
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 features.
Moreover
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, undoubtedly, almost all
people
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 except
innate
Correct determiner usage
those innate
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 talent could shape their
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personality
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personalities
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 with their own
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experience
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experiences
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 gained during their lives.
To conclude
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, I believe that
although
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 innate character traits affect
personality
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, the most important point is the reflection of the results we draw from
experiences
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 and
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
on our
personality
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.
Therefore
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, it may be correct to say that
experience
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 plays a key role in shaping
personality
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.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay maintains a clear and logical structure throughout, with each paragraph smoothly transitioning to the next. Use a variety of cohesive devices effectively.
coherence cohesion
Fully develop main points with detailed explanations and relevant examples. Be explicit in how each example supports your argument to ensure clarity and depth.
task achievement
Focus on providing a full response to every aspect of the prompt. In this case, make sure to discuss both innate characteristics and experiences, weighing their influence comprehensively.
task achievement
Clarify and elaborate on ideas to ensure they are comprehensive. Provide more depth to the argument and avoid overly general statements that do not enhance the discussion.
task achievement
Use specific and relevant examples to substantiate arguments. Make sure they are directly connected to the main idea discussed and expand on them to illustrate your points.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nature vs. nurture debate
  • genetic inheritance
  • personality traits
  • behavior patterns
  • heritability
  • twins studies
  • malleable characteristics
  • upbringing
  • environmental influences
  • critical periods
  • language acquisition
  • worldview
  • innate traits
  • personal experiences
  • psychological development
  • epigenetics
  • adaptive behaviors
  • cultural imprinting
  • temperament
  • social conditioning
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