Some parents believe children's leisure activities should be always educational, but others think it will cause more pressure on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Wether
Correct your spelling
Whether
children
should pursue educational purposes even in their spare time
is a matter of great argument. While
many parents believe this
can make children
exhausted, others might say this
is a great way to enhance the
education Change the word
their
of
Change preposition
apply
them
. In Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
essay, both views are going to be discussed and then
I will give my own view point
on Correct your spelling
viewpoint
this
matter.
On the one hand, it is said that a great deal of educational information can make any child devastated and cause them become
Add the particle
to become
further
away from learning their school lessons. Pupils need to be left alone with their own activities
while
they are not in school so that they can play with their friends without thinking about anything and get away from all the stresses and strains of their daily educational schedual
. Correct your spelling
schedule
In addition
to that, some difficult contents
such
as math have proved to be better learned if children
are not overwhelmed with school knowledges
.
On the other side of Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
this
argument, many people might be of this
conviction that leisure activities
if used properly can widely improve the education of children
. Since most of the children
do not enjoy educational contents
that Fix the agreement mistake
content
are
being Correct subject-verb agreement
is
thaught
in schools, the better way is to make their games and spare Correct your spelling
taught
activities
purposeful in order to teach them those
content. Take educational video games, as an example, they can be wisely designed to expose Correct determiner usage
that
children
with
content like foreign languages so that they can both enjoy playing and learning at the same Change preposition
to
time
.
In conclusion, the way children
should spend their spare time
is still a matter of moot point as some people tend to expose children
with
educational Change preposition
to
contents
even in their free Fix the agreement mistake
content
time
, while
others do not agree to put this
pressure on children
and claim that this
may cuase
exhaustion. In my opinion, it should Correct your spelling
cause
be consider
that Change the verb form
be considered
children
need to be totally free to chose
their own favorite Change the verb
choose
activities
while
they have some free time
, otherwise
they might lose their intrest
in Correct your spelling
interest
pursueing
their education in the future because of the Correct your spelling
pursuing
over exposure
to educational Add a hyphen
over-exposure
contents
.Fix the agreement mistake
content
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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using a broader range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively and provide clearer topic sentences for each paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea and develop it with supporting details. Also, use more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task thoroughly, ensuring that your opinion is clear throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion. Aim for a balanced discussion of both views with a more detailed development of your position.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.