With increasing populations and ever growing urban centers, many countries are losing their natural beauty spots. What benefits are there to protecting of natural beauty ? how can this be solved ?

The growth of populations and cities
make
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made
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several natural spots in numerous nations
deplete
Verb problem
apply
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. In
this
essay
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essay,
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I will give my point of view about the advantages
if
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of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
conserve
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conserves
show examples
the place of natural beauty and how to address
this
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
. The fast
growing
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growth
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of
population
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the population
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in a nation
are
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is
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likely
bring
Add the particle
to bring
show examples
several problems, one of them are dimishing
city
forest.
This
happens because humankind needs to
cutting
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cut
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down trees to open the new land
Correct word choice
and tobuild
show examples
tobuild
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to build
city
's
infrastructures
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infrastructure
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such
as building
accomodation
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accommodation
, roads and so on. In consequence, many cities
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
not
having
Wrong verb form
have
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green areas but
skyscappers
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skyscrapers
. Environment conservation is paramount for
humanity
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humanity's
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lives. If
human
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humans
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cannot protect
the
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apply
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nature, they
then
will
faced
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face
show examples
many problems like air pollution and natural
disaster
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disasters
show examples
.
Moreover
,
city
forests are useful for
community
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the community
show examples
to get fresh air and to relax. Taking Jakarta as an illustration, the citizens are encouraged by
government
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the government
show examples
to plant trees in their
house
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houses
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since these days the air quality in
jakarta
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Jakarta
show examples
is in the worst condition. They
also
strugling
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struggle
with flash
flood
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floods
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since their
city
lacks
of
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apply
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plants, which help to absorb the water when the
rain
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rainy
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season comes.
This
means that
,
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apply
show examples
natural
forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
show examples
are needed by
citizen
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citizens
show examples
in order to have
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
life quality.
Compherensive
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Comprehensive
approach
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approaches
show examples
are
neccesary
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necessary
to tackle those
issues
. All the elements from
individual
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the individual
an individual
show examples
level to
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the
show examples
authority level
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
need to work together to
ovecome
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overcome
this
problem. Each
individu
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individual
should
awares
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aware
of
this
issue and
starts
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start
show examples
to foster plants around
neighbourhood
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the neighbourhood
show examples
,
while
government
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the government
show examples
could
allocates
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allocate
show examples
funding
to
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for
show examples
environmental
issues
. In conclusion, natural beauty makes
city
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the city
show examples
become better place to live
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
saves
community
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the community
show examples
from
catastrophy
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catastrophe
.
Therefore
, holistic approaches
are need
Change the verb form
are needed
show examples
in addressing
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
issues
.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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task response
Your essay introduction lacks a clear thesis statement that directly addresses the benefits of protecting natural beauty spots. Consider refining your introduction to explicitly state the benefits discussed and outline your approach to the topic.
task response
While you introduced solutions in the final paragraph, you could enhance your essay by integrating them more coherently throughout the essay and providing detailed examples to illustrate your points.
coherence and cohesion
Overall, your essay lacks a cohesive and logical progression of ideas. Paragraphs should be more clearly organized, each with a central idea supported by specific examples and commentary.
coherence and cohesion
Work on your essay's structure by incorporating clear topic sentences and ensuring each paragraph has a singular focus. Improve cohesion by using linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Ascertain that your introduction and conclusion echo each other, providing a succinct summary of your main points and reinforcing the central argument of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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