IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country
The line graphs below illustrate the amount of electrical devices owned by families and the number of hours they spent
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cleaning their houses in
unknown
Correct article usage
an unknown
show examples
 country from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
,
graphs
Correct article usage
the graphs
show examples
 show
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 moderate increase in
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of electrical appliances and
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
 decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 time spent on doing housework throughout 99
years
.
According to
 the first chart,
refrigators'
Correct your spelling
refrigerators'
 popularity tended to rise upward between 1920 and 1980 and
then
 maintained the same level for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 39
years
. The vacuum cleaners experienced the same sharp ascending period for the first 80
years
 and remained at 100% from 2000 to 2019. Despite all three of them
showed
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
 positive changes in their usage dynamics,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of families using washing machines slowly increased from 40% to 70% and
then
 fluctuated between 65% and 70% for the rest of
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
. It is obvious that
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of hours spent on cleaning the houses
qucikly
Correct your spelling
quickly
 dropped from 50 to 20 hours between 1920 and 1960 and
then
 slowly declined by 10% for the rest 59
years
 on the chart.
Submitted by aldosik0287 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: