In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kid of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Few countries across the globe experience an upward trend in the number of
people
suffering from health
isssues
, because of the Correct your spelling
issues
over consumption
of Correct your spelling
overconsumption
junk
food
. Imposing higher taxes by the authorities on such
kind of food
can tackle this
challenge. I completely agree with the above statement. In this
essay, I will ellucidate
the aforementioned problem, and Correct your spelling
elucidate
at the end
, I will ultimately express my own school of thought.
To begin
with, the main reason behind people
consuming great
amount of fast Add an article
a great
food
include
availability. A number of individuals prefer to eat Verb problem
is
such
food
, for they are easily available in different shops. When they get back to their residencies after hectic office work, they find it difficult to cook something to eat, so they go for ordering fast food
, which comes to their door step
after a very short period of time. For illustration, Correct your spelling
doorstep
according to
the survey by Express Tribune, majority
of the citizens of Correct article usage
the majority
Europeon
countries lack the time for cooking , they buy burgers and consume Correct your spelling
European
it
on the way to Correct pronoun usage
them
office
. Add an article
the office
As a result
, the rise of junk
food
has been seen among the masses overtime
.
Correct your spelling
over time
On the other hand
, this
over use
of fast Correct your spelling
overuse
food
led to some detrimental health
issues. A certain number of people
experiencing
problems in their digestion, for Wrong verb form
experience
junk
food
are
very dangerous to our stomach, it results in lowering the quantity of Gastric acid. If proper heed is not paid to Correct subject-verb agreement
is
this
issue, it can grow and will prevail over a large portion of population
. The authorities should crumple Add an article
the population
this
challenge by taking measures in form
of implementing higher taxes on Correct article usage
the form
such
edibles. To be more precise, sessions should be arranged by the local government to spread awareness among the people
about the hazardous repercussions of junk
food
. For illustration, the KSA has banned the production of fast food
inside the country to encounter the health
issues associated with junk
edibles. Therefore
, necessary steps should be taken by officials to preserve the health
of their nationals.
To sum up
, I opine that junk
food
is not energetic and full of calories as compared to traditional edibles, in addition
to that, it also
cause
severe Change the verb form
causes
illnes
or Correct your spelling
illnesses
damaging
the inner body. If the officials implement strict rules and Wrong verb form
damages
imposing
taxes regarding over consumption Wrong verb form
impose
junk
Change preposition
of junk
food
, people
will abstain themselves
from it and will live healthy and fit Correct pronoun usage
apply
life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly follows from the previous one, using transition phrases and clear topic sentences to guide the reader. The logical structure of the essay is somewhat inconsistent and can be improved for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and show a clear stance on the topic, which is excellent. Make sure the conclusion wraps up all points succinctly and reinforces the thesis without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
While main points are somewhat supported with examples, it's important to directly link your examples to the thesis statement and clarify how they provide evidence for your arguments.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt with a clear opinion stated. To enhance your task achievement score, ensure each paragraph directly responds to the question and focuses on the argument rather than peripheral details.
task achievement
Ideas are presented with some clarity but occasionally become muddled by less pertinent information or poor wording. Strive for conciseness and clarity by focusing solely on relevant details and avoiding tangents.
task achievement
The use of examples is good and helps to support your points. However, be careful to select examples that are indisputably relevant and credible. Ensure that your examples are well-integrated into the essay and add direct substance to your arguments.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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