Some people move to other countries when they retire. Others think it is better to retire in their home country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #move #countries #home #country

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After retiring from their job, some

people

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prefer to move their house to different countries,

while

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others think it is better to come back to their

home

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country

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. In my opinion, moving to other countries after finishing our career path is a good option.

this

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essay will discuss both points of view on

this

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topic and give relevant opinions. The primary

reason

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why

people

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move outside their

home

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country

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is because they can attain a tranquil environment to enjoy their life.

This

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is because when they are young, they might get stressed and lack work-life balance because they try to achieve their Key Performance Indicator (KPI) to increase their wages.

As a consequence

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, when they are getting older, they want to live in a serene environment that

opposite

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is opposite

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different from their bustling

home

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country

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. Spending leisure time on their hobbies is another

reason

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why

this

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could happen.

For instance

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, many

people

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who have already achieved managerial level try to allocate their money to buy property in rural areas.

This

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behaviour occurs because they can do their hobbies freely

such

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as farming and gardening.

On the other hand

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, The

reason

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why some

people

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argue that it will be beneficial if

people

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retire in their

home

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country

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Add a missing verb

show examples

because they can easily be reminiscing about their childhood memories. Another

reason

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why

this

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trend might happen

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apply

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is because if they enjoy memorizing their childhood, they could successfully create a tight bond with their family as well. Coming back to our own

country

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could give advantages , especially for those loved ones. In conclusion, I believe searching for a calm environment and enjoying our hobbies are the pivotal reasons why they want to move overseas, even though remembering childhood memories and creating a bond with their family could be considered a good one.

After

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this

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thorough analysis, it could be suggested that

people

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could have a chance to retire outside their

country

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because they could spend their time peacefully.

However

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, we should remember that our

home

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country

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is always our first

home

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no matter what will be happened in the future.

Submitted by dewifarraprasasya on Fri Dec 22 2023

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introduction and conclusion

Your introduction should clearly state the purpose of the essay and provide a brief outline of the points you intend to discuss. Ensure a clear conclusion that summarizes your discussion and states your own viewpoint directly.

logical structure

The essay should be well-organized with a clear and logical flow of ideas. Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to structure your argument.

supported main points

Main points should be clearly presented and developed throughout your essay. Each body paragraph should focus on a single idea and be supported with specific examples or evidence.

complete response

Fully address all parts of the task. Make sure your essay provides a clear response to the task prompt with a balanced discussion of both views and a direct statement of your own opinion.

clear comprehensive ideas

Develop your ideas thoroughly to form clear, comprehensive responses to the task. Avoid ambiguity and ensure that your ideas are fully explained and well supported with concrete details or examples.

relevant specific examples

Use relevant examples to support your points. The examples should be specific and directly related to the points you are making. Avoid general statements and ensure your examples have a clear connection to your arguments.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

346 words

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Some people move to other countries when they retire. Others think it is better to retire in their home country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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