Some people move to other countries when they retire. Others think it is better to retire in their home country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #move #countries #home #country

After retiring from their job, some

people

prefer to move their house to different countries,

while

others think it is better to come back to their

home

country

. In my opinion, moving to other countries after finishing our career path is a good option.

this

essay will discuss both points of view on

this

topic and give relevant opinions. The primary

reason

why

people

move outside their

home

country

is because they can attain a tranquil environment to enjoy their life.

This

is because when they are young, they might get stressed and lack work-life balance because they try to achieve their Key Performance Indicator (KPI) to increase their wages.

As a consequence

, when they are getting older, they want to live in a serene environment that

opposite

Add a missing verb

is opposite

show examples

different from their bustling

home

country

. Spending leisure time on their hobbies is another

reason

why

this

could happen.

For instance

, many

people

who have already achieved managerial level try to allocate their money to buy property in rural areas.

This

behaviour occurs because they can do their hobbies freely

such

as farming and gardening.

On the other hand

, The

reason

why some

people

argue that it will be beneficial if

people

retire in their

home

country

Add a missing verb

show examples

because they can easily be reminiscing about their childhood memories. Another

reason

why

this

trend might happen

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is because if they enjoy memorizing their childhood, they could successfully create a tight bond with their family as well. Coming back to our own

country

could give advantages , especially for those loved ones. In conclusion, I believe searching for a calm environment and enjoying our hobbies are the pivotal reasons why they want to move overseas, even though remembering childhood memories and creating a bond with their family could be considered a good one.

After

this

thorough analysis, it could be suggested that

people

could have a chance to retire outside their

country

because they could spend their time peacefully.

However

, we should remember that our

home

country

is always our first

home

no matter what will be happened in the future.

Submitted by dewifarraprasasya on Fri Dec 22 2023

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introduction and conclusion

Your introduction should clearly state the purpose of the essay and provide a brief outline of the points you intend to discuss. Ensure a clear conclusion that summarizes your discussion and states your own viewpoint directly.

logical structure

The essay should be well-organized with a clear and logical flow of ideas. Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to structure your argument.

supported main points

Main points should be clearly presented and developed throughout your essay. Each body paragraph should focus on a single idea and be supported with specific examples or evidence.

complete response

Fully address all parts of the task. Make sure your essay provides a clear response to the task prompt with a balanced discussion of both views and a direct statement of your own opinion.

clear comprehensive ideas

Develop your ideas thoroughly to form clear, comprehensive responses to the task. Avoid ambiguity and ensure that your ideas are fully explained and well supported with concrete details or examples.

relevant specific examples

Use relevant examples to support your points. The examples should be specific and directly related to the points you are making. Avoid general statements and ensure your examples have a clear connection to your arguments.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

346 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people move to other countries when they retire. Others think it is better to retire in their home country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Every year several languages die out.Some people think that this is not important because life be easier it there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Most people do not care enough about environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on the problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?