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Nowadays, young people tend to rush into independence. Many of them leave home to study or work while still in their teens. Do you think it is positive or negative?

#people #rush #independence #home #study #work #teens
Independence of the youth is one of the burning issues of today's modern society. As
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers grow up, they are more likely to want to live without their parents and manage their own lives without anyone to tell them what to do. In my opinion,
this
 approach has both its pros and cons. We can not give a certain answer to
this
 question.
This
 issue can be advocated by the fact that when
teens
 become independent, they face the troubles of life alone.
Therefore
, they become stronger by handling the problems and bearing the difficulties.
Also
,
making
Verb problem
going
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 through life on their own increases their self-confidence. So, it can be said that
teens
 who are living independently are more reliable in difficult situations and their fear of
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 is much less than the people who always had a guardian by their side to take care of them because these
teens
 know they can count on themselves.
On the other hand
, there are some downfalls about young people being independent
while
 they still have not finished their school. They cannot completely focus on their studies adequately because they have to run errands on their own.
Hence
, their study quality decreases and it has a bad effect on their future. They even may be forced to leave school and work to pay the bills.
Additionally
, they may lose the connection to their family and have no longer any guardian
in
Change preposition
at
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 an early age, which may have a negative effect on
teens
.
Overall
, I agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 young people being independent on the condition that they have finished school and are wise enough to live without a parent.
This
 way, independence will not have a negative effect on their future. As a recommendation, governments should be involved and not let the
teens
 under
legal
Add an article
the legal
show examples
 age to live apart from home.
Submitted by mohamad.sanaye462 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, it is essential to develop a logical sequence that clearly guides the reader from point to point. Transitions and linking words should be used effectively to maintain a smooth flow. In addition, each paragraph should center around a single main idea with clear supporting details to reinforce your argument.
task achievement
While you have addressed the task, make sure to answer the question more explicitly by stating whether the trend is positive or negative upfront, thus providing a clear opinion. Further expand your ideas to make them more comprehensive by deepening your analysis and including more nuanced arguments. Avoid sitting on the fence with a balanced view without making a definitive stance

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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