Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some individuals believe that there is no need to spend money
for
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on
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public
libraries
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since computer technology can do the same work better. From my point of
view
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view,
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public
libraries
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can offer better opportunities for users.
Although
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computers
Use synonyms
have more storage
a
Correct word choice
and a
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lot of functions, which save time for users and have
ability
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the ability
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to store a huge amount of knowledge, public
libraries
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are more reliable and comfortable for users.
Firstly
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information
in
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on
show examples
computers
Use synonyms
can be hacked and changed,
hence
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, information in books
are
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is
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more trusted and original.
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Additionally
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Additionally,
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there are
also
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health problems.
Long term
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Long-term
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use of
computers
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can seriously negatively affect people’s health and brain. As an
example
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example,
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scientists argue that
use
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using
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computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
more than 3 hours in day may cause insomnia and
Correct article usage
a negatives
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negatives
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negative
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impact
vision
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on vision
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.
Moreover
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, public bookstores are very comfortable for book lovers. There are a lot of people who like to touch and feel the book, and reading
same
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the same
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book
in
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on
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computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
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can not delight them.
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Also
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Also,
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there are some individuals who
encouraging
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are encouraged
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by
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to
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search
information
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for information
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by
himself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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rather than find in
wikipedia
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Wikipedia
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.
In addition
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major part of elderly
peoples
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people
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can not use nowadays technology,
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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is the reason why
for
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apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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public
libraries
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are more reliable.
Furthermore
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, public archives especially the old ones ,
consider
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are considered
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a part of history and have academic and historical value for society.
For
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instance
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instance,
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in some
England
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of England
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located the biggest
librarie
Correct your spelling
libraries
library
with very rare books and tourists prefer to visit and enjoy of beauty
this
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bookstore. In conclusion, despite
of
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apply
show examples
Use synonyms
computers
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computers'
computer's
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large
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a large
the large
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number of functions and data collection, I really believe that public
libraries
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are still worth anything to do for it, and disagree with
this
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statement.
Submitted by hebibli.eli on

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Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the topic, but some of your ideas are not fully developed. Aim to provide more detailed examples to support your arguments. Also, ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses a single main point.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on providing a clearer logical progression of ideas throughout your essay. Transitions between paragraphs could be smoother, and linking phrases should be used more consistently to guide the reader.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of books
  • promoting literacy
  • community engagement
  • equal access to information
  • digital divide
  • accessibility issues
  • personalized assistance
  • educational programs
  • cultural events
  • safe spaces
  • community meetings
  • tactile experience
  • preserving historical documents
  • important cultural repositories
  • fostering a sense of community
  • communal hubs
  • serene and focused environment
  • conducive to study and reflection
  • irreplaceable value
  • distracted environment
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