Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree?

Some individuals believe that there is no need to spend money
for
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on
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public
libraries
since computer technology can do the same work better. From my point of
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
public
libraries
can offer better opportunities for users.
Although
computers
have more storage
a
Correct word choice
and a
show examples
lot of functions, which save time for users and have
ability
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the ability
show examples
to store a huge amount of knowledge, public
libraries
are more reliable and comfortable for users.
Firstly
information
in
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on
show examples
computers
can be hacked and changed,
hence
, information in books
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
more trusted and original.
Additionally
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Additionally,
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there are
also
health problems.
Long term
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Long-term
show examples
use of
computers
can seriously negatively affect people’s health and brain. As an
example
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example,
show examples
scientists argue that
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
more than 3 hours in day may cause insomnia and
Correct article usage
a negatives
show examples
negatives
Fix the agreement mistake
negative
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impact
vision
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on vision
show examples
.
Moreover
, public bookstores are very comfortable for book lovers. There are a lot of people who like to touch and feel the book, and reading
same
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the same
show examples
book
in
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on
show examples
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
can not delight them.
Also
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Also,
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there are some individuals who
encouraging
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are encouraged
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by
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to
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search
information
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for information
show examples
by
himself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
rather than find in
wikipedia
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Wikipedia
show examples
.
In addition
major part of elderly
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
can not use nowadays technology,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is the reason why
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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public
libraries
are more reliable.
Furthermore
, public archives especially the old ones ,
consider
Wrong verb form
are considered
show examples
a part of history and have academic and historical value for society.
For
instance
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instance,
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in some
England
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of England
show examples
located the biggest
librarie
Correct your spelling
libraries
library
with very rare books and tourists prefer to visit and enjoy of beauty
this
bookstore. In conclusion, despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
computers
Change noun form
computers'
computer's
show examples
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
number of functions and data collection, I really believe that public
libraries
are still worth anything to do for it, and disagree with
this
statement.
Submitted by hebibli.eli on

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Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the topic, but some of your ideas are not fully developed. Aim to provide more detailed examples to support your arguments. Also, ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses a single main point.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on providing a clearer logical progression of ideas throughout your essay. Transitions between paragraphs could be smoother, and linking phrases should be used more consistently to guide the reader.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of books
  • promoting literacy
  • community engagement
  • equal access to information
  • digital divide
  • accessibility issues
  • personalized assistance
  • educational programs
  • cultural events
  • safe spaces
  • community meetings
  • tactile experience
  • preserving historical documents
  • important cultural repositories
  • fostering a sense of community
  • communal hubs
  • serene and focused environment
  • conducive to study and reflection
  • irreplaceable value
  • distracted environment
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