Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree?
Some individuals believe that there is no need to spend money
for
public Change preposition
on
libraries
since computer technology can do the same work better. From my point of view
public Add a comma
view,
libraries
can offer better opportunities for users.
Although
computers
have more storage a
lot of functions, which save time for users and have Correct word choice
and a
ability
to store a huge amount of knowledge, public Change the article
the ability
libraries
are more reliable and comfortable for users. Firstly
information in
Change preposition
on
computers
can be hacked and changed, hence
, information in books are
more trusted and original. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
Additionally
there are Add a comma
Additionally,
also
health problems. Long term
use of Add a hyphen
Long-term
computers
can seriously negatively affect people’s health and brain. As an example
scientists argue that Add a comma
example,
use
Wrong verb form
using
computer
more than 3 hours in day may cause insomnia and Fix the agreement mistake
computers
Correct article usage
a negatives
negatives
impact Fix the agreement mistake
negative
vision
.
Change preposition
on vision
Moreover
, public bookstores are very comfortable for book lovers. There are a lot of people who like to touch and feel the book, and reading same
book Change the article
the same
in
Change preposition
on
computer
can not delight them. Add an article
a computer
the computer
Also
there are some individuals who Add a comma
Also,
encouraging
Wrong verb form
are encouraged
by
search Change preposition
to
information
by Change preposition
for information
himself
rather than find in Correct pronoun usage
themselves
wikipedia
. Change the capitalization
Wikipedia
In addition
major part of elderly peoples
can not use nowadays technology, Fix the agreement mistake
people
that
is the reason why Correct pronoun usage
which
for
Change preposition
apply
them
public Correct pronoun usage
apply
libraries
are more reliable.
Furthermore
, public archives especially the old ones , consider
a part of history and have academic and historical value for society. Wrong verb form
are considered
For
instance
in some Add a comma
instance,
England
located the biggest Change preposition
of England
librarie
with very rare books and tourists prefer to visit and enjoy of beauty Correct your spelling
libraries
library
this
bookstore.
In conclusion, despite of
Change preposition
apply
computers
Change noun form
computers'
computer's
large
number of functions and data collection, I really believe that public Change the article
a large
the large
libraries
are still worth anything to do for it, and disagree with this
statement.Submitted by hebibli.eli on
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Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the topic, but some of your ideas are not fully developed. Aim to provide more detailed examples to support your arguments. Also, ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses a single main point.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on providing a clearer logical progression of ideas throughout your essay. Transitions between paragraphs could be smoother, and linking phrases should be used more consistently to guide the reader.