The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all the shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?
The Internet is a widely used structure, especially in shopping. The future of classic shopping models is under threat on a platform where many alternatives are available at a fast and affordable price.
However
, there are so many shops in towns and cities, the Internet is spreading so rapidly that it will become more important in meeting our needs in the near future.
In addition
, the internet can offer us many types of products and brands in a comparative manner within seconds. Regardless of where we are, we can immediately purchase any need we want and have it delivered to our location. Moreover
, we can reach many different brands without compromising quality.
In addition
, payment, return and exchange processes are much easier. Customers can shop more freely and have the opportunity to try the products they want and like. For example
, you can try different brand products in your home environment without time pressure, instead
of visiting many stores. In addition
, making the customer feel comfortable also
positively affects the amount of shopping.
In conclusion, existing shops in cities are facing serious competition and it seems really difficult for them to overcome it. In fact, probably only companies that offer different values will survive and the environment will bring even more difficult conditions. In this
context, I think they should reconsider their current business processes and find different alternative business models for their future.Submitted by salihzekikoni on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and consistent logical structure, resulting in a somewhat disjointed and incoherent argument. Ensure that each paragraph serves a clear purpose and that ideas flow logically from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present but they do not adequately frame the essay's topic nor do they offer a definitive stance or summary. It's important to start with a strong thesis statement that presents your main argument, and end with a conclusion that restates your position and summarizes your supporting points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Main points are mentioned, but they are not fully developed or elaborated on. Make sure to expand on your ideas with detailed explanations, reasons why something occurs, and explore the implications or consequences of your points.
task achievement
The response to the task is mostly complete, but could benefit from a more developed argument throughout the essay. You've provided a clear position, but more could be said to thoroughly address the question posed.
task achievement
Ideas are somewhat clear and comprehensive, but the essay would benefit from greater development of the argument. Ensure you fully explain your reasoning and that your essay presents a nuanced discussion of the topic.
task achievement
While some examples are provided, they are not fully effective or relevant in illustrating the argument. Work to include examples that are directly related to the topic and demonstrate your point convincingly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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