Nowadays, most countries can improve the standard of living through economic development, but some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?
In
this
modern era, the standard of living for the majority of countries has increased through economic avenues, Linking Words
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
this
has compromised our social values. In Linking Words
this
essay, I will discuss why there are more pros to Linking Words
this
notion rather than cons and form a conclusion.
Linking Words
Firstly
, the industrialisation of a nation provides many benefits for the population as a whole. Linking Words
For instance
, investment Linking Words
into
healthcare or educational facilities generates a prosperous society. People will gradually become more educated, obtain Change preposition
in
first class
degrees and secure Add a hyphen
first-class
top class
occupations. Add a hyphen
top-class
Furthermore
, there will be an influx of medical professionals Linking Words
as well as
Linking Words
a
Change the article
an
overall
healthier population. Linking Words
This
will not Linking Words
ony
cause Correct your spelling
only
above average
satisfaction levels for the residents, but Add a hyphen
above-average
also
a thriving economy for the country. Linking Words
Secondly
, financial funds harvested into the tourism sector of a nation Linking Words
results
in another great economic benefit. Monetary sanctions geared towards attractions, like Disneyland promote people from all across the globe Correct subject-verb agreement
result
as well as
those who already reside in the country. Linking Words
This
means thatLinking Words
,
there is more funding for investment within one’s own nation Remove the comma
apply
as a result
of significant tourism. Linking Words
Overall
, Linking Words
this
will increase the levels of happiness within the land.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, the construction of various different types of infrastructure can have a negative effect on our social circles. Linking Words
For example
, the demolition of parks in favour Linking Words
for
housing reduces our social networking. People rely on scenic getaways as a method of interaction with the local neighbourhood and a chance to establish new connections. If Change preposition
of
this
is all taken away Linking Words
then
, many will not have the chance to interact with others anymore. Linking Words
Additionally
, the older generation Linking Words
depend
on Change the verb form
depends
such
locations as another avenue for communication,as they do not usually possess modern technological devices.
In conclusion, there are more advantages, including educational and health aid compared to the disadvantages of Linking Words
such
a claim.Linking Words
Submitted by abeera2012 on
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coherence cohesion
You have presented your argument in a clear and generally logical manner. However, there is room for improvement in the overall strength and clarity of the essay structure. To enhance your score, consider creating a more solid framework for your essay where each paragraph seamlessly flows into the next, thereby ensuring a cohesive argument throughout.
task achievement
Your essay maintains relevance to the topic, but you should seek to develop your key ideas further. When writing about advantages and disadvantages, it is essential to discuss each point sufficiently and offer deeper insights or more comprehensive arguments. Additionally, specific and tangible examples could significantly strengthen the point you are making, and ensure they are directly related to the question prompt for a more compelling response.