People try to change their look by changing the colour of their hair using cosmetics, wearing jewellery or even having a plastic surgery done. Why do you think people do it? Do you think changing a look is a good thing.
These days, having a perfect look trend is quite popular across the world, and
as a result
, individuals try to alter their own appearance by changing many
ways like hair colour Change preposition
in many
change
, using cosmetics, wearing accessories and doing
plastic surgery. Having a perfect look like Verb problem
having
actor
Correct article usage
an actor
actress
is the main reason Correct word choice
or actress
for
Change preposition
apply
people
do these
and I think changing a look is a good thing because it brings more Correct pronoun usage
this
confidence
. This
essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
To begin
with, people
change
their look
by using cosmetic items because they Fix the agreement mistake
looks
want
look like Add the particle
want to
actor
or Fix the agreement mistake
actors
actress
Fix the agreement mistake
actresses
such
as glassy skin and fair skin. To clarify, many people
influence
by prime media and social media Wrong verb form
are influenced
while
they watch how others are being
a good look Verb problem
getting
then
they search to find a better cosmetic products
Correct the article-noun agreement
better cosmetic products
a better cosmetic product
what
celebrities use Correct word choice
that
then
they also
use to get better
look. Add an article
a better
For instance
, a recent survey done by BBC said that 99% of Korean people
use cosmetics products to get v-shape
Correct article usage
a v-shape
jaw line
. Correct your spelling
jawline
In other words
, populations like to get their dream look by using these products constantly.
Furthermore
, changing a look is a good thing because it brings more confidence
, especially who
born with disabilities. Correct pronoun usage
those
To specific
, Rephrase
Specifically
disability
Replace the word
disabled
people
have low confidence
by
their Change preposition
in
appearances
but if they do surgery to Fix the agreement mistake
appearance
change
their look
Fix the agreement mistake
looks
then
they will be happy and their confidence
level may be increased. For instance
, a person born with mole
on Add an article
a mole
face
, Correct pronoun usage
their face
his face
her face
he
suffers his entire life and Correct pronoun usage
apply
he
has Correct pronoun usage
apply
inferiority
complex but when he Correct article usage
an inferiority
will do
surgery to Verb problem
has
change
their face while
he has more Correct word choice
apply
confidence
than before. These kinds of surgeries are provides
many benefits to the population.
Wrong verb form
provide
To conclude
, changing folk's appearances bring
more Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
confidence
and stay
far away from Verb problem
apply
inferiority
complex; individuals have to Correct article usage
an inferiority
be look
like Change the verb form
look
a
Correct article usage
apply
celebrity
and they want Fix the agreement mistake
celebrities
a
fair and glassy skin like them, Correct article usage
apply
hence
, they change
their own appearance by using cosmetics and changing hair colours.Submitted by reanudeepan on
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coherence cohesion
The candidate should focus on constructing a logical progression in their arguments. There were instances where the essay jumped from one point to another without clear connections between the ideas. A more effective approach is to outline the essay beforehand, ensuring each paragraph naturally leads to the next.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion were present but lacked clarity and purpose. It's essential to introduce the topic, outline the main points that will be discussed, and restate these points alongside the argument in the conclusion. The candidate should practice crafting clear and purposeful introductory and concluding paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
While the main points are somewhat supported, the candidate should include a variety of well-developed examples and explanations. It's vital to provide detailed and specific evidence to back up each point made, rather than providing generalized or hypothetical examples.
task achievement
The response fulfills the basic requirements of the task, but doesn't fully develop all parts of the prompt. The candidate should ensure they thoroughly answer each part of the question, expressing a clear opinion and discussing why people change their appearance and if this is positive.
task achievement
While ideas are communicated, the candidate can improve by offering clearer, more comprehensive ideas. It's important to express thoughts in a way that's easy for the reader to understand, with a stronger focus on clarity and detail.
task achievement
Relevant examples were given but lacked specificity. The candidate should strive to use specific, real-world examples to illustrate their points rather than general statements or hypothetical situations that do not solidify their argument.