Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Health
is
very
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a very
the very
show examples
important factor
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
human life. Now a day unhealthy food, less
work life
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work-life
show examples
balance and bad habits could be the reasons behind
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
illness and other
health
problems. We can control these by eating healthy food, Avoiding bad habits and
exercise
Wrong verb form
exercising
show examples
but these
works
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work
show examples
mostly as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pre requisites. Visiting
doctor
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doctors
show examples
at the time of illness and
to tackle
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tackling
show examples
other
health
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
is very important as they are professionals and
knows
Correct subject-verb agreement
know
show examples
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
body
scientifically because they
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
spent years
to study
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studying
show examples
and diagnose
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
related issues so that.
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
there are different specialist
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
available in service to tackle different diseases as example if someone is facing skin related
issue
, the person can go directly to
dermatologist
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a dermatologist
the dermatologist
show examples
, In
case
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the case
show examples
of teeth people can visit
dentist
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the dentist
a dentist
show examples
. The conclusion of
last
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the last
show examples
sentence is it is easy to get
right
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the right
show examples
treatment from
right
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the right
show examples
person,
means
Correct pronoun usage
which means
show examples
specialist
Correct article usage
a specialist
show examples
doctor
. But things
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
changed in recent years in
compare
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comparison
show examples
to
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
few years, Different social media platforms,
channels
Correct word choice
and channels
show examples
are publishing unauthorized information and
motivate
Wrong verb form
motivating
show examples
people to buy
medicines
as per their recommendations to save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time and doctors’ fees. Recently one of my
friend
Change to a plural noun
friends
show examples
was facing issues with his back pain and his friend who had the same
issue
suggested
him
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
some
medicines
which he used to take to cure his pain, after his suggestion my friend brought
those tablet
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that tablet
those tablets
show examples
without any
X rays
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X-rays
show examples
, and
body
Correct pronoun usage
his body
show examples
checkups and consumed those
medicines
without any recommendations of
doctor
. After eating those
medicines
for two days he started feeling rashes on his skin which was the side effect of those
medicines
on his
body
. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
he went to the
doctor
and got proper treatment to cure back pain and skin issues. The above example
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
that treating your
body
to cure the
health
issue
without
usual
Correct article usage
the usual
show examples
doctor
’s recommendations can cause severe side effects.
Submitted by raahulspatil.1 on

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introduction conclusion present
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that your essay opens with a clear thesis statement that directly addresses the question, and conclude with a summary of your main arguments.
logical structure
The logical flow between ideas is weak. Work on creating a more logical sequence of ideas. Use clear topic sentences and ensure each paragraph progresses naturally from one idea to the next.
supported main points
Support your main points with focused, relevant examples. Avoid using personal anecdotes that may not be universally relatable.
complete response
Your response partially addresses the prompt, but you need to develop your ideas more fully. Discuss both the positive and negative aspects as required by the question, and ensure you state your own opinion clearly throughout the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ideas are partially clear, but the writing would benefit from more comprehensive explanations and supporting details. Use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures to articulate ideas more effectively.
relevant specific examples
Although you provided a relevant personal example, try to incorporate more general examples to substantiate your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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