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Band 4

IELTS 12 - Test 6 - Task 2: At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#ielts #test #time #population #countries #adults #people #situation
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Nowadays Ali over the wards common peoples is increasing more than a huge
number
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 of young peoples the previous time compared with the
number
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 of
adults
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people
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.
This
Linking Words
outweigh
Change the verb form
outweighs
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
There are pros and cons.In
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will discuss the cons and I totally disagree with
this
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. First of all, these days an increasing
number
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 of young
people
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 are because countries are developed for every side. they think they have a luxury family and they can feed more
children
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, because of the reason
adults
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 are very busy with occupation. they can'
t
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 look young well.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some of the
families
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 are very poor they can'
t
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 feed themselves well and they can not
given
Wrong verb form
give
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to
Change preposition
apply
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the
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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children
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 food, education,
a
Correct word choice
or a
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good house and they can not give for everything.
For instance
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 situation same for young
people
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 who don'
t
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 go an education.
Moreover
Linking Words
, They don'
t
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 have food and who goes the way to ask for some money to reach
people
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.
Change the punctuation
?
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On the other hand
Linking Words
,
previuers
Correct your spelling
providers
, lifestyles tiny young
people
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 are very easy to live a good life. because of the
families
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 are don'
t
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 have a huge
number
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 of young
people
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.
adults
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 are very knowledgeable. They don'
t
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 want their family more
children
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. Because they know they can not feed more
children
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 and they can not give luxury lifestyles.
moreover
Linking Words
, The previous
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
country was developed. They don'
t
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 have a good facility. For the reason that, previously more
adults
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people
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 than young peoples In conclusion, more young
people
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 with
families
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 have many kinds of problems nowadays.but previous
families
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 are very knowledgeable they don'
t
Use synonyms
 have a huge
number
Use synonyms
 of young
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by manushamanu1024 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a clear logical structure. It should have an introduction that states the topic and your thesis, body paragraphs with individual points, and a concluding paragraph that summarizes your viewpoint. Additionally, consider using linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs more effectively.
task achievement
You should directly answer the question, giving a balanced view of both advantages and disadvantages before stating if one outweighs the other. Ensure you develop each point clearly and fully, with examples where appropriate. Your conclusion should summarize these points and restate your opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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