In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
These days, the way of
educational
system has changed towards getting employment. In some Add an article
the educational
nations
a large number of individuals prefer to enrol in skilled training Add a comma
nations,
courses
instead
of university graduates. This
trend has more benefits
than drawbacks
and this
essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
There are some advantages
of studying work-based training rather than studying degree
programs
. One
of the major benefits
is that this
skilled job has a plethora of demand in job
market, especially abroad. Add an article
the job
This
means,
Remove the comma
apply
the
population who master Correct word choice
that the
in skilled
have to get plenty of employment opportunities rather than graduates Change preposition
skills
along with
high salaries. For example
, an electrician and plumber
Fix the agreement mistake
plumbers
has
more demand in Canada with Change the verb form
have
a reasonable salary packages
. Another benefit is that people need to work more than Correct the article-noun agreement
reasonable salary packages
a reasonable salary package
one
occupation which Add a missing verb
is skilled
skilled based
work and it brings more earnings but few hours of working. These are the Add a hyphen
skilled-based
Advantages
of learning work-based
training program rather than Correct article usage
a work-based
degree
course.
Despite the Add an article
a degree
advantages
, there are some drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
this
phenomenon. One
of the major disadvantages is that some professional occupations should require degree
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
which
theoretical knowledge Correct your spelling
with
such
as an
engineer, doctor and nurse. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, medical students should study four years of theoretical courses
after one
year they have to attend training. Another disadvantage is that attending university programs
can enhance social
life of the pupils because they have to interact with others and gain teamwork, and Add an article
the social
as a result
, it will help in future
Correct pronoun usage
their future
career
. These are the demerits of learning skilled Fix the agreement mistake
careers
programs
instead
of attending degree
programs
.
To conclude
, skilled occupations bring more earnings as well as
it has more demand in job
market Add an article
the job
are
the Correct subject-verb agreement
is
advantages
of Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
this
phenomenon. Learning degree
courses
enhance social life and some professional occupations need degree
course
to get employment Fix the agreement mistake
courses
are
the Correct subject-verb agreement
is
disadvantages
of Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantage
this
trend. This
trend has more benefits
than drawbacks
of learning skilled courses
bring more benefits
than drawbacks
.Submitted by reanudeepan on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas are not repeated across paragraphs. Work on making a more distinct division between advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Task response could be improved with a more balanced approach to the discussion, including equal treatment of both sides of the argument. Make sure to directly address the question prompt in your conclusion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?