In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, the way of
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
system has changed towards getting employment. In some
nations
Add a comma
nations,
show examples
a large number of individuals prefer to enrol in skilled training
courses
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
of university graduates.
This
Linking Words
trend has more
benefits
Use synonyms
than
drawbacks
Use synonyms
and
this
Linking Words
essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. There are some
advantages
Use synonyms
of studying work-based training rather than studying
degree
Use synonyms
programs
Use synonyms
.
One
Use synonyms
of the major
benefits
Use synonyms
is that
this
Linking Words
skilled job has a plethora of demand in
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
market, especially abroad.
This
Linking Words
means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
population who master
in skilled
Change preposition
skills
show examples
have to get plenty of employment opportunities rather than graduates
along with
Linking Words
high salaries.
For example
Linking Words
, an electrician and
plumber
Fix the agreement mistake
plumbers
show examples
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
more demand in Canada with
a reasonable salary packages
Correct the article-noun agreement
reasonable salary packages
a reasonable salary package
show examples
. Another benefit is that people need to work more than
one
Use synonyms
occupation which
Add a missing verb
is skilled
show examples
skilled based
Add a hyphen
skilled-based
show examples
work and it brings more earnings but few hours of working. These are the
Advantages
Use synonyms
of learning
work-based
Correct article usage
a work-based
show examples
training program rather than
Use synonyms
degree
Add an article
a degree
show examples
course. Despite the
advantages
Use synonyms
, there are some
drawbacks
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
phenomenon.
One
Use synonyms
of the major disadvantages is that some professional occupations should require
degree
Use synonyms
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
which
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
theoretical knowledge
such
Linking Words
as
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
engineer, doctor and nurse.
For instance
Linking Words
, medical students should study four years of theoretical
courses
Use synonyms
after
one
Use synonyms
year they have to attend training. Another disadvantage is that attending university
programs
Use synonyms
can enhance
social
Add an article
the social
show examples
life of the pupils because they have to interact with others and gain teamwork, and
as a result
Linking Words
, it will help in
future
Correct pronoun usage
their future
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. These are the demerits of learning skilled
programs
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
of attending
degree
Use synonyms
programs
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, skilled occupations bring more earnings
as well as
Linking Words
it has more demand in
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
market
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
the
Use synonyms
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
of
this
Linking Words
phenomenon. Learning
degree
Use synonyms
courses
Use synonyms
enhance social life and some professional occupations need
degree
Use synonyms
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
to get employment
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
the
disadvantages
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantage
show examples
of
this
Linking Words
trend.
This
Linking Words
trend has more
benefits
Use synonyms
than
drawbacks
Use synonyms
of learning skilled
courses
Use synonyms
bring more
benefits
Use synonyms
than
drawbacks
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas are not repeated across paragraphs. Work on making a more distinct division between advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Task response could be improved with a more balanced approach to the discussion, including equal treatment of both sides of the argument. Make sure to directly address the question prompt in your conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: