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Writing Samples
Band 4

It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media-rich society.

#influence #media #lives #media-rich #society
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It would not be wrong to state that the
media
 holds
a
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apply
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sway over the lives of the population.
Although
, there is the disadvantage of becoming subservient to the
media
 platforms,
yet
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the advantage of providing knowledge to
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
 at a fast pace is equally significant. I surmise that despite its pros and cons, it is advantageous to be a part of
media-rich
Correct article usage
a media-rich
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 society. The merit of disseminating knowledge to a wide spectrum of
people
 in a shorter span is one which cannot be snubbed.
This
 is
since
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because
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 everyone has access to
media
 through their smartphones, and the internet is no more a luxury today.
For example
,
people
 all across the world were made aware of the global scare of
the
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COVID-19 and what steps they could take to shield themselves from becoming
a
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victim
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victims
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to
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of
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this
 deadly viral disease. These occurrences
further
 support the idea that connecting
people
 on a global scale is one of the major benefits of a
media
-dominated world. The demerit which stares us in the face
as a result
 of vast
media
 influence is that
people
 are enslaved to
this
 wide array of entertainment sources made available as a causality.
This
 protrudes
in
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to
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 weak interpersonal relations as
people
 prefer digital mode rather than face-to-face communication.
For instance
, it is a common sight these days
where
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when
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 a group of friends sitting in a café are all glued to their phones and not talking to each other.
Thus
, it would not be an exaggeration to highlight the deleterious consequences of addiction created because of omnipotent
media
. In essence, it is arduous to break out from the influence of
media
 in our present-day lives.
While
 there will always be the fear of increasing social distance in
the
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society
due to
this
 overshadowing
media
 presence, the rapid expansion of knowledge and information is
the
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an
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 advantage which cannot be discarded.
Hence
, it is the
benefit
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the benefit
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 of awareness and erudition of the general populace that weighs heavily over the disadvantages.
Submitted by skyla201993 on

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task achievement
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The incomplete conclusion diminishes the overall effectiveness of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas by using a range of connective words and clearly organized paragraphs.
task achievement
To elevate your essay, ensure you provide a balanced discussion on both the advantages and disadvantages with an equal level of detail.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with fully developed and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Use varied sentence structures and ensure paragraphing is clear and appropriate.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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