some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is positive or a negative development?

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Widespread technology has changed everyone's daily routine in various ways. Nowadays,
smartphones
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have been a crucial part of people including
children
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's lives. There might be several reasons that indicate why the young generation spends some hours on their
phones
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daily.
Also
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,
this
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attitude toward mobile
phones
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might have some consequences. There are different factors which motivate youngsters to spend so much
time
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surfing the net or just being on their
phones
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.
Firstly
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, nowadays, parents are in a rush most of the
time
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and they cannot make
time
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for their beloved
children
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. So, they try to fill
this
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gap and entertain their kids with their
smartphones
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to not hear their naggings.
Secondly
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, there are actually millions of interesting options in
smartphones
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that can entertain you for several hours,
for instance
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, games, cartoons, movies, songs etc.
Children
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are amazed by
this
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opportunity and don'
t
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show the tendency to replace it with any other activity. And
thirdly
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, the new generation doesn'
t
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have enough hobbies. Some offspring's worlds are
centered
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centred
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around their
smartphones
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which means, they are not even aware of any other activity, and identify scrolling on their
phone
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as their leisure
time
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activity. To
illustarte
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illustrate
this
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, if you ask any
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children
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child
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to choose one between attending a pottery class and playing the newest version of
mobile
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a mobile
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phone
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game, he would
defenitly
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definitely
choose the second one!
This
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attitude in
children
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might be considered
as
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apply
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negative or positive in various situations, but in my opinion, its negativity outweighs its positivity for several reasons. The most vital reason for
this
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statement is the lack of physical movement
as a result
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of spending
time
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on
smartphones
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.
Children
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tend to sit still more than in previous decades and it can affect the normal process of their growth. It can
also
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lead to obesity which has been proven by scientists to be concerning in the future.
For example
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,
children
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prefer to watch a football match on their
phones
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instead
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of playing football with their friends in the yard these days.
Last
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but not least, lack of real communication in
children
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as a result
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of focusing on their
smartphones
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only can lead to unsociable juveniles.
As a result
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of the
phone
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being at the centre of attention,
children
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don'
t
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make real friends and don'
t
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have real interactions with other people, so they won'
t
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be able to improve the tactics of beneficial communication. To give a clear example, they may not be able to start a conversation when needed and won'
t
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be able to meet their social needs. In conclusion, the widespread of technology specifically
smartphones
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has caused so many troubles in the growth process of kids which must be prevented by parents.
For instance
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, they can set some boundaries about
children
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's screen
time
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and get the
phone
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back at that prefixed hour.
This
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way they have limitations in hours of using their
phones
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and may be forced to find something more advantageous to do during their day.
Submitted by eyvaziniloofar on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear, logical structure with well-defined paragraphs. It is important to not only present ideas but to also effectively connect them, creating a smooth flow of information that is easy for the reader to follow. Consider using a wider range of linking devices and theme-related vocabulary to enhance cohesion.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear opinion; however, you could develop your main points further. When presenting arguments or discussing the implications of children's heavy smartphone usage, expand your analysis to include more detail, which could offer greater insight into your perspective. Additionally, aim to provide a balanced view by exploring both sides of the argument sufficiently, reflecting on not only the negative but also the potential positive aspects before concluding with your stance.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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